‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Your Prayers Are Healing

I feel your prayers. I dare say Anya does too, and Nastia. There is no accounting for waking up feeling peace, except that God is hearing your prayers and bringing us relief.

I want to thank everyone for not only their prayers, but for caring enough to send advice. Forgive me for not being able to respond to each suggestion. Most of them have already been attempted or looked into. Anya cannot remain here on her own, because she is not mentally stable enough to make the right choices for herself. She is incredibly vulnerable. For those of you suggesting she stay here under another's care, I want you to imagine Anya as a newborn, my newborn. She is that reliant on me. I cannot possibly leave her in the care of another. And this is not my trying to be a martyr. I am living with her. I know. I know like a mother knows.

Rosemary, can you imagine ever leaving your dear daughter anywhere without you? That same level of love and concern is what I feel for Anya. That is why I must stay. Please don't worry, or if you do, please do not share your fear with me, because it only serves to bring me down. I know my God is with me. I know He will find an answer, even if it is the one I do not want to hear -- moving here permanently. I am open to whatever God asks of me.

As to living in another country, we have been looking into that for over a year. It is a long difficult process, but it is one of our options. As to Anya applying for a tourist visa -- been there, done that. The US govt will not allow her to travel to the US on ANY kind of visa right now. We live in a very very upside down world. A world where a mother and child are forced to make painful choices every day in order to be together. A world where our govt is worried more about setting a precedent than it is concerned for the precious life of a battered and sick young girl. A world where a hundred different people could step forward to help us (you know who you are) but are unwilling. I pray you who have the power to fix this are never abandoned the way you have abandoned us. It is a terrible feeling to be abandoned.

Your comments lift me up and help me keep my head above water. I am grateful beyond words. I do ask that if possible, you keep your fears about our situation ( if you have them) to yourself right now, out of care for us. I'm barely keeping my head above water. I need uplifting and support, not a light shining on the fears that already loom in my heart. I hope you understand.

Please know that as sad as I am, I trust my God. I get up at 6am every morning and spend a full 90 minutes in prayer and meditation. I say the rosary, I say prayers to St Raphael and St Jude, John Bosco, and a host of other saints, I say the mass, I read scripture, I lay myself at God's feet and wait for His reply.

I do not doubt He will help us.  My fear and sorrow is just a side effect of being human. I do not truly fear being abandoned by Him. God has proven Himself utterly faithful. His love is so evident here in our family. I just wait on Him, and ask for your prayers to join with mine.


  1. Amazing. You are an amazing woman who is an inspiration. My prayers are with you and the girls. Our God is able.

  2. The Lord will guide you. :) He already is.
    Big hugs to a sweet threesome of a family!

  3. I don't have any fears for you, except that you will have black boogers for eternity! haha I think you are one tough cookie and you are probably seem a bit strange to the general public, but I have always rooted for the quirky and the underdog.

    I am also a bit jealous. There are things we all say we want to do, things we should have done, situations where we should have acted.....and we have looked away. But you hopped aboard the airplane and chased down the situation to CHANGE it. You go girl! ;-)

  4. Hi Keri, I am not good with words, but I do want you to know that you and your daughters are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I am worried about one thing right now: do you have to leave the country to renew your visa? If so, how long will it take and who will care for your girls?

  5. We are with you in spirit. Sending all my love and strength.

  6. God will answer your prayers and all will be okay :)

    My prayers are with you.

  7. Oh Keri... If tears could bring that girl home, she'd have been there thrice over. I love you, I love you, I love you.

  8. Just wanted to let you know that my husband and I have been thinking about you, sending warm healing thoughts your way.

    Remember that nothing is forever, nothing is ever set in stone, and that the whole world changes constantly. The world you wake up to is not the same world that you fall asleep to.

    Do NOT give up, your answer may come from the most unlikely source, or from one that you have given up on already. Keep working towards your miracle, know that it is there waiting for you to reach it! It already exists.

    I can not even imagine what you are dealing with, not even one tiny little bit, but I would encourage you to continue to relish in your family, love and be loved, there is nothing more powerful that a mother's love.

  9. Hi Keri, I have never commented either but I just finished sending an email to Senator Kerry through his online contact form submission. I don't know who else would listen if we sent it, but....does the white house have a "contact the president" email form that we could all bombard? If hundreds came in within a day or so, how can they ignore that?


  10. Keri,
    Everytime I read your blog, I am reminded of what Mother Teresa said: "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much".
    Your situation and the fact that it has gone on for 5 years, outrages me; your faith and trust touch, move and inspire me.
    Hugs, love, and prayers,

  11. I had to laugh, I hope this makes you laugh too . . . I have never heard of John Bosco, don't know why you pray to him, but here where we live we have a treat called 'Bosco sticks' which are a pizza like dough shaped into thick breadsticks filled with cheese . . .my daughter loves them!!! So that's what I got as a mental picture when you said that.

    Good for you, keep on praying.

  12. Keri, I'm so sorry that I let my own worry spill out. The last thing you need is to deal with other people's fears! I will try my darnedest to deal with my own fear and worry myself and to just try to do what I can to help.

    I "liked" the Ellen DeGeneres fb page, and wrote a post on her wall about y'all. I'm about to go to her web site and send an email.

    It's really such a testament to faith that you are there. I am so proud of you and both your girls.

    I added your names to the prayer list at my church, and I hope everyone else will too.

    I do get what you're saying about how she's as needy right now as a newborn and that you need to be with her. I get that. And I am so encouraged about her ability to connect with you and to open up to you.

    It sounds like the Russian tv segment is such a good thing, and I hope it will lead to something wonderful.

    My prayers are with you.

  13. Hoping that as the days go on, things will start to fall into place.

  14. Keri - hang in there- HE hears you. I have written Ellen on your behalf. I love her too. She is such a kind soul. chin up;)later

  15. Hang in there. You are a strong person and something is going to happen, for the better! Please e-mail me. My daughter wants to send a package to the orphanage and is trying to earn money by selling her book on blurb. She just turned 8. I would like to know what they need so we can find it. Thank you.
    PS I can send you the link on blurb, it is a cute story.


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