‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I'm Experiencing A Miracle


Truly. The change I am experiencing from this diet/lifestyle change is nothing short of miraculous. I don't like calling it a diet. It's more like a feast of good things! I have completed 5 full days of 100% raw and living foods. For the skeptical, here is what has happened thus far:

Lost almost nine pounds.
Went from a 44 E to a 40D bra.
Lost 4 inches in my waist.
Lost 4 inches in my chest.
I have no double chin or excess weight on my neck.
My eyes are whiter ( don't know why!)
I am wide awake after 6 hours of sleep versus 11-12 of before
I wake up w/out an alarm at 6am, reading to run!
My body wants to be moving all the time ( be4fore it wanted to SLEEP all the time.)
My auto immune pain is decreased so much it is almost imperceptible.
I no longer take naps. ( whereas before I HAD to...EVERY day)
I am thinking more clearly
colors have changed..I can see better
My vision has gotten better...don't need glasses for the computer starting today!
My skin looks AMAZING. I stopped wearing make-up.
I am beginning to crave the good foods!
I am not experiencing ANY low-blood sugar moments!
I am fitting into clothes I haven't worn in years..in FIVE DAYS!

To be clear, this is not simply a raw food diet. I think the benefits are because I'm eating/drinking SO many greens. Only live, fresh greens, veggies and fruit, and a handful of dried banana chips the past few days.

I have not felt this alive, happy, motivated, clear, and peaceful since I was about 5 years old.

God bless green food. I can't believe it has taken me 44 years to discover this secret. I can't believe health and wellness is this easy.

Ran this morning again, and just got back an hour ago from a long hike in the woods with Anastasia and the dogs. Anastasia put it perfectly, as we made our way through the trees and green.." Mom, life doesn't get much better than this moment.."

Friday, April 24, 2009

Today was better :)


Up at 6:30 for a run. Apple for breakfast. Then green juice. Anastasia and I went to the Appleton Farm Sanctuary in Ipswich ( pictured above) for a long hike in the woods and fields. Met up with a big herd of cows. Stopped at Tendercrop Farm for fresh organic veggies on the way home. Visited a friend by the ocean. Ate another apple and a handful of banana chips on the ride home. Ate a big green salad at home. Then took a long nap together. After-nap snack: fresh snap peas! Some avocado. This moment: A few more banana chips ( for my mad sugar cravings today.) Now I'm getting work done on the computer while Anastasia primps herself for a night out at the local roller rink. Still feeling immeasurably better in so many ways...it is almost indescribable. Cravings still around, but more manageable today. I loved being with my daughter all day! A great, peaceful day all around.

A Glorious New Day!

I'm in shock. I've shocked myself! I woke up at 6am wide awake, with a desire to....RUN! I have not run in over 16 years. I have definitely not had a desire to run in 16 years either! But today I woke up, wide awake and happy in my bed , and all I wanted to do was run. So, I found something athletic to wear ( that was a feat) and I put on sneakers...and I ran. I ended up running a mile! Of course, I stopped now and then and did either a brisk walk or very slow jog, but the point is..I did it!

I am amazing myself. I didn't think I would get through yesterday, the cravings and rage were so strong. but today is a new day and I feel even more alive than the day before!

I guess I'm writing this to say to ANYONE reading this who struggles with either disease or obesity...YOU CAN DO IT! I swear, If I can do this, there is no one in the world who can't. This diet has me feeling soooo incredibly alive and happy that it makes me not WANT to cheat..even when the cravings feel like they are going to kill me.

I'll report later on my intake of today. Thus far its just an apple and lots of water, but I need to get some greens in soon. I'll keep you posted.

Bye!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Today was the hardest thus far.


Sorry to be boring. I'm just recording today's intake so I can keep track.

7am: half cup celery/spinach drink
9am 3 dates with raw coconut, a pear
11am small green salad with 1/2 avocado, red peppers, spinach, sunflower sprouts
1pm 1/2 cup organic fruit blended into smoothie: rasberries, strawberries, blueberries
3pm 2nd small green salad as above with half an avocado, 2 pieces dehydrated apple
5pm handful raw organic baby carrots
7pm whole cup of blended fruit smoothie: as above, one tsp honey
lots and lots of water throughout the day

Still not hungry in the least, but man the cravings are killing me. Today I was so angry I actually threw my phone and broke it. (I was alone - no worries.) Lots of anger surfacing. Feel like I'm sitting on a ball of rage the size of the sun. What could it be from? No idea. I'm going to try journaling now before bed.

For those interested, here is how I dealt with the extreme cravings:

~took a long walk with the dogs - didn't help, but at least I was moving.
~ cleaned the entire kitchen and livingroom- helped a tiny bit.
~ called a friend who's 'been there' - helped for an hour or so.
~ Did tapping (EFT) for 4 cycles, three times today. Helped ALOT.
I still don't get how EFT works, but it does.

I really hope tomorrow is easier. Yesterday was amazing. I even had an experience of euphoria. I called and asked the nutritionist and she said that was normal on this diet. No euphoria today. Just mad cravings and really grumpy attitude.

But I did it. I have to keep reminding myself. I did it. I got thru another day 100 percent raw.
My body is thanking me even though my mind is pissed...lol.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Cravings!!!

Ok, cravings are trying to have their way with me. And boy, they are powerful! but I'm not letting them win. I was exhausted by 2pm so I fell asleep...for four and a half hours! Yikes. I dreamt of working in a fast food restaurant..lol. I awoke to continued cravings. Here is what my mind is begging me to eat: mint chocolate chip ice cream, coffee ice cream, chocolate ice cream, spaghetti and meatballs, a roast beef sandwich with mayo & sauce, a box of oreos, chips, french fries, a turkey dinner with all the extras, a whole coffee cake, beef stew....I could go on.

So you see, my mind is working double-time on these cravings, but actually announcing to the world that I am doing this lifestyle change is helping me to stay on task. I don't want to be a hypocrite!

I was unable to drink the entire 64 ounces of the weird green juice, but I managed half of it. I wasn't actually hungry all day. The cravings were all for comfort food, bc I'm scared. But there were no actually hunger pains of feelings of hunger.

I had moments of huge anxiety, feeling like there is no way I can do this, but I just kept talking to that part of myself and reminding her that this HAD to be done if I wanted to live a long life and be there for my daughter.

Tomorrow morning at 7:30am I head back to the nutritionist and do all kinds of extra things like an infrared sauna, ionic foot bath ( to stimulate the lymph system), a colonic and then some training in food prep. Hope I don't collapse on the ride home..lol! It's an hour away.

Nastia is having a field day trying to get me to fail. not fun. I know its because she doesnt like change of any kind, but it's hard to have her trying so hard to get me to eat junk. Hopefully this need of hers will pass. I'll keep you posted.

Change in Focus for this blog

For just a while, this blog is going to be devoted to my new raw and living foods diet. I'm attempting to rid myself of all the pain associated with this Auto Immune Disease by following a new raw diet ( with the help of an amazing nutritionist.) So, my posts may be boring for a bit. I'm posting what I'm eating and how I'm feeling, just for my own benefit. But of course you're welcome to read along if you don't get bored easily! After a few months of this diet, I'll go back to chronicling our RAD life, but for now, it's all changed :)

Started the diet about 10 days ago...gradually. Cut out all pasta, bread and processed foods. Was not ready to give up meat. So, for 10 days it's been all fruits, veggies , salads, and a little meat .....steak tips, roast turkey and tuna. Today I went completely raw...meaning no meat in the equation. I feel ready. I didn't even want meat yesterday. Just had a bit of tuna in the am.

Today it's 64 ounces of veggie juice ( spinach, celery, cucumber, cilantro, parlsey and such). Had an organic apple for breakfast. Giant salad with avocado and red peppers for lunch. 6 oz of organixc rasberries for my sweet craving at 2pm. Dinner will be a homemade tabouli with no grains, and a banana smoothie before bed. I'm also doing three colonics this week ( scary) and a few ionic footbaths, and lOTS of walks to burn off the anxiety manifesting!

note: I have not fully given up coffee yet. Down to 1/3 cup a day. Hope to be off it completely in 2-3 weeks.


My mission:

to cure myself of this nasty auto immune disease
to cure myself of PCOS
to cure myself of type II diabetes
to lose the 70 extra pounds I carry on my tiny 5'1" frame.
to feel awake and alive again
to be a role model for my daughter as she continues to heal.

Long Term Goals:
To make this a permanent lifestyle change
to be able to run a mile.
to clothe-shop without embarrassment
More coming....

Monday, April 13, 2009

I'm Baaaaack......

Well, for this moment anyway. I have not set foot on this blog ( or any other) for over a month. not sure why. Not sure I want to figure out why. But I came by because a few very kind souls sent little queries checking up on us, and I wanted to ease their minds. So, to ease....

We're ok. Still alive. Still dealing with nasty health crap. Still homeschooling. Still managing to make it through each day....some with a smile, some with a really pissed-off " what-the-hell-is going-on?" look. Either way, I count it a victory to still be here. Life is hard, after all. Don't anyone try and tell me otherwise, or I'll have to shoot you :)

Updates? I'm still waiting to hear if the law firm is getting anywhere with my suit against the nefarious peanut butter company. I'm working on a trip to Russia to help Anya find an apartment. Still working on finding a way to get her here permanently. ( I'm thinking a sneaky exit through Mongolia might be a good idea at this point.) and I've had almost five days running of very little pain, but now that I put it in writing, you know what's gonna happen....

What's on my mind right now? Losing freaking weight. SIXTY pounds, to be exact. I saw some photos taken of me over Easter and they made me want to put a gun to my head (j/k). But they did make me want to rob a bank and have my breasts and stomach lopped off.

I was already overweight to begin with, but the stress and immobility caused by this damn auto immune disease made me gain twenty more pounds. Nothing but one over-sized shirt fits me, and I refuse to buy anything in size 3x ( that's what size you need to wear if your breasts are this large...) I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm ready for a BIG change. Sorry to be a whiny you-know-what, but it's time to call a spade a spade. I think I'm done pretending to be happy so that people won't hate me or will like me or won't avoid me, or yada yada yada. I'm pissed and I need to make some changes.

Anastasia, on the other hand, couldn't be happier these days. Small favors :)

So, love to all of you and hope your life is filled with GOOD things ( like jobs and food on the table..) Oh yeah, did I mention I lost all my spring jobs? Yup. Should make travel to Russia so, umm, easy!

Warning: the above post should be read with a grain of salt. Just sayin'.