I feel somewhat wary sharing this, but I know the facts will help all of you prayer warriors to pray that much more intensely. Anya told us that she actually almost succeeded in hanging herself not too long ago. What saved her? Her friend Katya serendipitously coming by in the middle of the night. Anya was unconscious and Katya called the police. Anya said she had the rope marks on her neck for weeks and weeks. She was taken to the hospital, but they let her out the next day. She promised Katya that she would do her best to not do it again, but now it seems Anya thinks this end is inevitable.
When we came here I told her I hoped to be hearing from someone in our govt very soon. It was true, and I needed to give her something to hold on to. Well, now that we are here going on 3 weeks, and no news from the US, she is convinced that it is never going to happen. She just wants to enjoy every minute she has with us "until we have to go". I knew her openness was too good to be true. Her openness is her way of connecting with us in what she thinks are the last few months of her life.
I cannot tell you how deep in woe I am, because there are no words for it. I am sick with sorrow. Tonight the girls are in their old neighborhood (where they were born) and I am here, alone, with time to grieve and pray.
If I weren't living this, I would not believe it.
I am(and have been)praying hard for your family. I have no words except to let you know that Anna and all of you are not forgotten and are being prayed for.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with you and your girls. Keep hope alive! Miracles do happen.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. . . I can only imagine the heaviness and fear that are knocking at your heart right now. Take courage. GOD STILL SEES AND CARES. If you can help Anya start to realize that, in time, her desire to die will fade. Can you reach through to her fast enough? I do not know. But the fact that she is trusting you enough to say that is good--and it is also a plea for help, which is also good. If she were determined to die, no holds barred, I don't think she would have told you all this. I am convinced when working with our hurting kids that it is a spiritual battle. Satan has everything to gain, and nothing to lose if he can keep them from knowing God's love. . . I have a sweet kids book, "100 Ways to know God Loves Me" It's stuff I wouldn't have even thought of necdessarily, and it's been so useful with my Russian born daughter. Even though it's a little kids book, I wish you could get a copy. . . . HUGS.
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine the anguish you must be feeling. Not to mention what Anya must be feeling. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteHold up is on the Russian side, Keri....they need to act!
ReplyDeleteI am praying. And I wrote to Senator Kerry yesterday, will write to him again today and to Secretary of State Clinton. And I will pray some more. I will ask also if there is any sort of humanitarian leave or asylum she might qualify for.
ReplyDeleteDepression can be a fatal disease. And knowing that Anya doesn't have any sort of a future to look forward to, well, I can understand how she feels this way.
What about the programs a few people have mentioned for teens in other cities? Is it illegal for her to go to another city in Russia? I know that Russian citizens don't travel freely between regions the way US citizens do. But it sounds like she desperately needs to get into SOME kind of program, ANY kind of program, where she'll have some hope of living in a safe place and having some sort of a future.
Please, God, please keep Anya safe, and please make a way for her to move to the United States. Please keep Keri and Nastia safe and strong to be able to help Anya.
Praying for you and Anya. Keep strong.
ReplyDeletekeep praying, God will take care of you, know that you have people praying with you from all over the world
ReplyDeleteYou are there with her, Keri, and as long as you are, Anya is safe. Not only that, has a chance to heal some. You have time to help that happen. Believe in yourself and your girls!
ReplyDeleteTears are streaming down my cheeks. My heart is broken. Please, God, please help this family find peace and the ability to stay together.
ReplyDeleteOh, how so so tragic. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteWhat can a person do? Even a mother who would do all she could? Please remind yourself that YOU cannot save Anya. You are not big enough or powerful enough. Only God can--He is all-powerful, He is her Creator, He is Love. His heart breaks for her, and for you and Nastia.
May God lay His comfort and mercy like a mantle upon you.
Praying....
ReplyDeleteKeri, we are praying over here too. Has she let you know that when you leave, it will all be over?
ReplyDelete2 blogs to Kerry today --- keep them coming, I have plenty of stamps. Praying too. I cannot believe God would show Anya how much she is loved, give her the hope of a loving family life, and never let it become reality. I cannot believe that He would allow her to die of despair. Praying that He will send you good news very soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks to every one lf you. I keep thinking I should take this post down bc I dont EVER want to cause Anya WORSE pain. I just feel such a need for support and prayers for this, that I'm leaving it up for now --hestitantly.
ReplyDeleteChristie, yes, she is adamant she will hang herself when we leave. There fore, I am not leaving...unless she is right by my side.
Waiting on God's answer. Missing home TERRIBLY tonight, bc that life feels so very far away....
Keri, I can't believe the US is letting you down. I simply can't understand it. Tell Anya to have faith and not to give up hope!!! We are all rooting for her and all of you for a happy ending!
ReplyDeleteThe things people go through just seem unbearable at times. That poor little girl. I feel so sad for her. I can only imagine what kind of pain you are going through. I believe prayer is the only answer. God bless you for what you are doing.
ReplyDeleteYou have an army of prayer for you and your family. Although we appreciate your sharing this post I can only imagine how hard it is for you to have it up. Stay strong. You are an amazing person and one of the stringest mothers I know. All we can do is continue to have faith that God will help heal her heart and bring your family together, completely. I wish I could do more...
ReplyDeletePraying, praying, praying, hoping, praying...
ReplyDeleteWhat to say or do in this situation? Don't even know. I also feel like she should start doing something that would give her feeling of a start of something new. Something that might give her a sense of purpose and hope for a better life and future. Maybe enrollment in English language course for the start and for e.g. sewing course or something that she can actually do in her life in future as a job there or in US. She would have to concentrate more on those things and less on all the bad things that worry her. Of course, if she would be able to do it in her condition.
ReplyDeleteI really wish for a miracle here! There's still time, let's hope that something good happens finally!!!
Keri, you wrote: "There fore, I am not leaving...unless she is right by my side."
ReplyDeleteHow can you raise Nastia if you're in a Russian prison for overstaying your visa?
I am worried beyond worried for the three of you. I know that the alternative - leaving Anya there and you & Nastia coming home without her - is not acceptable either. But you have GOT to change your focus right now and find a place for Anya to BE in Russia with someone to WATCH OUT FOR HER.
If we could come up with the money, could Svetlana let her come live with her?
What about those different programs people have mentioned about half-way house type things for teens? I'll go back through and find those and repost them.
And of course, I am praying without ceasing. And wrote again to Senator Kerry.
I'm reposting something that was posted to you earlier: Nancy said...
ReplyDeleteKerimama - Just wanted to offer you a US/American contact in the Kemerovo Region. I have very dear pastor friends that have a wonderful ministry for orphaned teens & recovering adults in Novokuznetsk (3 hours from Kemerovo City). I met the pastor & Carter Conlan (Times Square Church, NYC) at the hotel I stayed in when I adopted my ds in 2004. Pastor Conlan ministered during an open air service supported by the Novokuznetsk Church during the week I was in Novok on 2nd trip with my ds. The Novokuznetsk church/pastor's ministry is just amazing. The wife of the pastor is from the US and a wonderful person (I have kept in personal contact with her for 6 years). The pastor has many contacts in Kemerovo City where you are staying. I can assure you (without any hesitation) that my friends are trustworthy, loving & willing to help in anyway they can. They helped me when I had a birth family situation in a small village outside Kemerovo City. They are wonderful, Christian people that have a heart for the orphaned teens of Kemerovo. I would be more than happy to give J.B. (wife) your contact information. I can also send you some of their monthly newsletters that details their ministry to the teens of Kemerovo.
I will be praying for you during this time. Just let me know if you feel this contact would be of help to your situation.
Bless you & your daughters!
novokbb2@yahoo.com
Definitely saying prayers.
ReplyDeleteKeri -- take it day by day.
ReplyDeleteYou have time there and she needs to know that on this end there are so many people who are working on her behalf. she is not alone, and cannot give up hope.
my favorite little band guster has a new album coming out and i swear to God they wrote the song "bad bad world" just for anya and you. i'll post it to you on facebook.
thinking of you constantly.
Keri - I don't know what to say except that we'll be praying for you and the girls, and hoping that something / someone allows Anya to come to the US with you. Hugs to you all! Stephanie
ReplyDeleteKeri: Somehow stumbled upon your blog. Sweet sister, you are covered! God has your back, angels around and about you girl! As a Mama we experience this heart wrenching that we think we will never live through. I am a Mama of a beautiful teenager that self-injurers. Certainly different than your situation with sweet Anya...keep praying, we all are for you! Never hesitate to ask for prayer!
ReplyDeleteI have seen the story about your family on Russian TV news program... What can I say - I wish you good luck, moral strength and do not loose a hope - there is always a way out of any problem! Have you thought about this type of scenario: you go back to the US and apply there for "a family reunion program"; or you could make an invitation to the sister which she would bring to the US embassy as a legal cause to apply for a tourist visa. I presume the US embassy cannot reject that as soon as you prove that you are relatives... Meanwhile, no more ideas :) Kind regards
ReplyDeleteYou are all in my thoughts at this very difficult time.
ReplyDeletePraying.
ReplyDeleteTwo steps forward, one step back...as long as she doesn't take that second step backwards there is still progress, and hope. Hopefully she has some idea how much all of us care about what happens to her, and how hard we're all praying for her safety and a resolution to all this.
ReplyDeleteIf Maureen is who I think she is, it sounds like the person we all need to be writing to now is the US Ambassador. Maybe his influence can help the wheels turn a little faster?
thoughts and prayers... I know I keep saying that, but that's all I know to do-- :/ Maybe I could send some more letters to Senators????
ReplyDeletePraying...and then praying some more. And I've shared your blog via fb. I'm new to your blog but am familiar with your story from when we started our adoption process.
ReplyDeleteLord, have mercy.
ReplyDeleteI've been away from your blog for awhile, and in catching up find this post. My heart goes out as my prayers go up. I'm sure your life must seem surreal right now. Know that we're out here praying for you.
more prayers going up.....
ReplyDeleteDoes it have to be Senator Kerry who introduces the private bill because you're in his district? Or can it be any senator who takes an interest in the case? And who do we appeal to for a humanitarian visa?
Ms Keri,
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I've commented on your blog, but I just want you and the girls to know that my thoughts are with you. I feel absolutely heart broken for Anya. She is only a slightly older than myself, and I cannot even comprehend what she is going through. No one should have to.
If you are comfortable with it, would I be able to send you an email?
I hope that all of you can find strength in these times.
Oh sweet baby..... heartbreaking..... and no you can't leave her, you are right. The Lord has a special path for you all! I wonder what country/ what language/ and where it will be?
ReplyDeleteChristie, I LOVE your outlook! Your posts always make me see the bright side...thank you! Amanda, I"m happy to get an email from you:) My address is KeriCahill34(at)gmail(dot)com.
ReplyDeleteStill thinking . . . and praying . . . I know Tony and Tanya in Russia (St Petersburg) are truly helpful with a LOT of things for American adoptive families, and Tanya is I believe, a physcologist or something similar. Would you like their contact info? I trust them completely, and Tony's English is excellent (British Citizen married to a Russian). Get in touch with me if you like happymom4@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteIf you could get her to Mexico, she could come on over the border, and have everyone working to let her stay.... What a crazy situation.
ReplyDelete