‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow..

How apropos I'm directing Macbeth this month. Because, I get it...I get how Macbeth feels in that speech. I wish I didn't, but I do. I get it. Some days it really does feels that bad . For those who aren't familiar with the speech, it comes at the end of the play, and is a perfect study in of hopelessness. Here it is...

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,
creeps in this petty pace from day to day
to the last syllable of recorded time;
and all our yesterdays have lighted fools
the way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle;
life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
who struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
and then is heard no more; it is a tale,
told by an idiot, full of sound of fury,
signifying nothing.

I can't help commiserating with Macbeth on this -- this week anyway. Chesky & Miriam losing their best friend Pete to suicide, Susan quickly losing her battle with cancer, and the Petit family. God be with the Petit family in Connecticut, their girls being raped and tortured by those two evil monsters . Sometimes I really don't want to try anymore. I feel like throwing my hands up and saying 'ok, bad guys, you win.' But I'm tired, and stressed and overwhelmed, so it's easy to sink into that space. But, dammit, I am sick about that family.

I keep replaying what happened to them in my mind, and just the thought of it propelled me to the bathroom last night to throw up. Not from sickness...from pure disgust and the deepest sadness. I cried about those girls all night long. Why did it hit me so hard? Maybe its because I now have a daughter? I don't know, but I could not get them out of my heart. I'm praying for them. That's all I can do. I'm praying for their Dad, and though I cannot fathom how he will live through this, I ask God to keep his heart beating. Let him find a way to walk this life. Is it possible? God, please hear my prayer.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Nothing Better...

There is nothing better I can do than spend time with these children. There is no other way for me to feel so alive.

Tonight was hours upon hours of giddy madness in my basement, and up the stairs, and in the hallways and kitchen... A large scattering of children carefully cutting patterns for their costumes, passionately sewing up awkward seams, discerningly choosing fabrics for Macduff and Fleance and Young Siward. A whirl of costumed sprites running about my house and yard with joyful abandon...no rules, no curfews, no "don't touch, no "be quiet"...just laughter and scissors and boiling pots of aprons on my stove and furious little workers dirtying up some cloaks with mud and rocks and twigs in my front yard.

Today, was a wonderful day.