A Blogger you MUST Meet

Dear Friends, I'll be in NY at least the next two days, so...no blogging. In the interim, please go check out my friend Lorrene's blog. She is  a woman in her 'golden years'  who writes so beautifully and poignantly about life back in the day. It's such a rare treat to have someone with such wisdom and years blogging. She often has me laughing out loud or, like tonight, crying my heart out. Her recent post is  here.

Read it and please comment, so she knows she is truly not writing 'into thin air', as she puts it. I'll consider it a personal favor if you go read this post and comment on it!

Big News!

When God moves roadblocks, he often moves them in ways we could have never foreseen. Case in point: Nastia and I are going to move to Siberia for three months! Leaving as soon as my new visa comes thru. I sure didn't see that coming!

I'll have to post the details tomorrow, because today is my last day of work for the summer season. But to briefly explain, there is one and only one way Nastia will be allowed to travel to Russia right now -- if she agrees to stay in country until her new Russian passport is completed. This is a three month process. I knew Anya could not wait any longer. I knew Nastia was not willing to let me go to Russia alone again. I knew time was of the essence in so many respects, for Anya's psychological health. So I prayed and prayed, and talked and talked with my daughter. We decided to take a leap of faith.

How will be afford three months there? No real idea, but it's going to work out. I can feel it. And the orphanage! I can really help them out if I am there for three months!

I'm so grateful to God for the chance to be with both my girls for such a long length of time. So grateful that I can't stop crying just thinking about it. God is good. He sure surprises me sometimes, but He is good!

PS: And my MOM is on board! Now THAT is a miracle! She still worries when I cross the street! And she is completely supportive of this move! That is God at work...lol.

Here is what is waiting for me at the end of the 15 plus hours on a plane. Soooo worth it!

One Roadblock After Another

Tomorrow, very early, Nastia and I are catching the first flight to New York City in order to be at the Russian consulate when it opens. Why? Because once again, government bureaucracy and roadblocks are getting in the way of these sisters being together. I don't know how much more I can take of this. The weight on my heart is easily the size of this boulder. I can't breathe.

A few days ago I was sending in our passports to the visa agency that secures the Russian travel visas for us. I happened to mention in passing that this would be the first time Nastia would be flying to Russia on her US passport.  "She was not born in Russia, was she?" The woman asked concernedly.

Yes, why?

"Russia will not issue her a travel visa on a US passport unless she renounces her Russian Citizenship."

What do you mean? She is a US citizen with a valid passport!

"Russian law does not recognize her as an American. She must fly on only her Russian passport.

" But it is expired!"

" Well, she must get a new one. It takes at least three months. I'm sorry."

So, my American daughter is being denied a travel visa by her birth country. Just like her sister was denied a travel visa by our country. Why, in all these years, did no one tell me she could not fly on her US passport? Why is this not mentioned on the Russian Consulate website or any US Consulate website? Why must our governments, both of them, make things so impossible?

The Consulate will not answer my calls or emails. No? Well, then I will fly down there and park myself in the Consulate itself until someone helps me. There must be someone with a heart somewhere in that building. I am devastated that our trip is, once again, put on hold. Anya is beyond devastated. I worry for her well-being.

So, I ask for your prayers. I ask that someone at that embassy sees past the rules and forms and have-to's and must-not's and sees this mother simply trying to give these sisters what they want most in the world -- each other. I pray that someone there finds a loophole to either allow her to travel on her expired Russian passport next week, or allows a travel visa in her US one. I pray that I don't lose my temper. I pray that I remain calm and focused, and that I come home on that late flight tomorrow night with the knowledge that Nastia will be travelling with me.

Please pray. I don't know how much more of these roadblocks I can take. I really don't.

MIDNIGHT UPDATE: I just had to move the trip to Monday. Long story. NO way around it, but I am now thinking it is a blessing in disguise. We can now return to the Consulate the following day if required. ( Which I heard we might.) Prayers still needed, welcomed and appreciated!

Wisdom seeking, Life is messy, and a Birthday

I am blessed blessed blessed by amazing friends. How'd I get so lucky? Life is quite complicated and yucky today, but then I have friends emailing and facebooking me to say " I'm thinking of you" or " I love you" and it takes the edge right off.

If I told you what I had  on today's agenda, you might accuse me of lying -- it was that crazy and convoluted and awful. But I'm here, at the other end of it, and I'm alive. Isn't that something to sing about?

I'm learning learning learning to let go and be present with what is, and accept that life is often oh-so-messy...and its not going to get easier as I get older ( like I stupidly thought at twenty.) But I'm gaining in wisdom and that is all I've really ever asked of God and this life. I want to gain in wisdom every day and trust the incredible process that our human lives afford us.

Today is my mom's 70th birthday. She'll probably kill me for outing her like this. But I'm sharing it because she is my best friend, my most committed cheerleader and my favorite cook all in one. She's had a hard life, and trudged on through without complaint. She stayed faithful and with her eyes on God the whole time. I admire her for that. Plus, she makes 70 look like a piece of cake, so I'm looking forward to it!

I love you mom.... Happy Birthday and thank you for loving me so much. I'm lucky to have you:)

Hi. My Name is Keri, and I'm a Follower

How he sees me.

Those of you who bristle at the mention of anything spiritual might want to move on. To the rest of you, I need to share.

I have always considered myself a spiritual person, but not always 'religious' in the classical sense. It has only been in the past three years that I have really truly 'come home' and find myself having an honest-to-goodness relationship with God. In fact,  I would have to classify it as a romance. God is wooing me. I can feel it. Despite the endless let-downs and losses in my life, I feel Him drawing nearer. As close as breath.

I went to an evangelical college. I felt like somewhat of a black sheep there. I was raised an Irish Catholic, but I also attended Hebrew School for a spell as my best friend was Jewish. My dad made me read the history of all the world religions during 7th grade as some kind of punishment, though I forget for what. It was easily a thousand page book, with photos. I think my Dad thought it would exasperate me. But it just deepened the desire I had to know who God was and how He worked in this world. All my journals, from age seven on up, are filled with painful pleas to Him to reveal Himself to me as He truly is. I didn't care what lead me to Him, I just wanted to get there.

In my twenties, I abandoned God completely, in my pursuit of what the world had to offer. I went through a short period where I must honestly classify myself as a complete atheist. But God woos and courts us like the deftest lover. He doesn't give up. He calls and calls until we can't help but answer. At least that is what happened to me.

Three years ago I went through a bout of depression that nearly ruined me. I thought I wouldn't survive it, and the only thing that kept me hanging on was my love and commitment to my daughter. I was in a dark unknown place and I couldn't extricate myself. I wept on the phone to my mother nightly. I cried out to God. I wept out every last ounce of energy I had during that time. I thought I would never surface. But one night I heard a voice. The voice comforted me and called me Little One. With this divine visit, the despair was wiped away in an instant. An instant. There is no explanation.There was even a physical sensation -- like a warm oil was being poured over my head. And I was enveloped in a feeling of complete and utter unconditional love. It was the most vivid experience of love I have ever had.

 I lived a charmed life for a few months after that night. When I would pray, I would hear the voices of others joining me. I could distinctly hear my father's voice and sometimes the voices of my grandmothers. I began attending Mass again. I went every single day, not just Sundays. I felt a burning desire to be there, on my knees, communing with Him. It felt like a glorious fever that I didn't want to be rid of. Sometimes I would hear the voice, and it would tell me I was loved. It would call me Little One and Sweet One. Sometimes it even sang to me, a hymn.

Some of you might think I'm crazy, but I honestly don't mind. I feel an urgent 'nudge' to share this tonight, and I'm happy to do it for Him. God has reached out to me in such tangible ways even this week, that I couldn't possibly ignore that He is here, among us. Beside us. With us. And boy, does He love us.

I'm not a religious freak. I don't even feel comfortable sharing my beliefs at all, if I'm honest. I positively hate stepping on people's toes, and I have an immense respect and awe for so many different faiths. I have friends of every religious (and non-religious) persuasion there is -- Atheists, Agnostics, Evangelicals, Jews, Pagans, Wiccans, Muslims, Pantheists, and more -- and they would, every one of them, describe me as probably the most spiritually-accepting person they know.  But I need to own what I, myself, believe -- for my own integrity's sake. I don't ask you to believe it. I'm certainly not proselytizing. I just want to be true to who I am. I want to say my truth out loud, and unafraid.

I am a broken, willful, stubborn, contradictory little soul. But He loves me. The Maker of All Things, The Speaker of the First Word, The Lover and Creator of All Things loves me. And I want to love Him back in all that I say, all that I do. And in all that I am.

So, friends,  this is my  my 'coming out' speech, as a follower of Christ. I will not call myself a 'Christan' but a Follower of Christ. Christian has way too many negative connotations these days and turns people off before you even open your mouth.  But I am a follower of Him who has made Himself known to me, and I want to be like Him. (He was, after all, a Rebel!)

The Nicene Creed (and my creed, too)

We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, 
 maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen.
 We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, 

 eternally begotten of the Father, 

 God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, 

 begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father. 

Through him all things were made. 

For us men and for our salvation he came down from heaven: 

 by the power of the Holy Spirit 

 he was born of the Virgin Mary, and became man.

 For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;

 he suffered, died, and was buried.

On the third day he rose again in fulfillment of the Scriptures;

 he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,

and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, 

who proceeds from the Father and the Son. 

With the Father and the Son he is worshipped and glorified. 

He has spoken through the Prophets. 

We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church. 

We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins. 

We look for the resurrection of the dead, 

 and the life of the world to come.  

  Amen.

Wow!

So I just went to paypal and calculated all of the donations earmarked for the orphanage, and it is at just over $1600! Thank you for giving so generously! I know I'll make my goal!

I've purchased $600 worth of toys, toiletries, underwear and simple medical supplies this far. And I'll have over $1000 to use in country! Here are the other things I expect to buy for them with the donated funds, once I'm over there:

• fresh fruit for all 100 of them
• a dvd player and movies
• 50 new pairs of shoes
• soccer balls and other sports equipment
• as many bikes as I can afford

If anyone has any other ideas, please comment below! I've also bough several bags of beads and string  so they can make bracelets for one another. Any other ideas?

Siberia, Here We Come!

We're in the final days of prepping for our big adventure. Can't give you the dates yet, as they are unconfirmed, but we expect to leave a week from today and be gone for close to three weeks! We are able to stay longer as we will only stay in a hotel 1-2 nights. The rest of it will be relying on the kindness of Siberian friends.

If you are one of the generous souls who donated to the orphanage cause - thank you! Still trying to raise about $2,000 for the kids. I so want to purchase bikes for them, as well as a DVD player and lots of Disney films and inspirational movies.  (Have to buy them in country, of course.) The kids spend so much time stuck inside in the winter months, I want them to have something to watch!

If you want to donate a few dollars, you can use the paypal button on the top left of this page. I'll only be leaving that up until the trip is completed. It's not the end of the world if I don't raise the full amount, but it would be exciting! Can you imagine us driving up with a van full bikes, sports equipment, a dvd player, and enough brand new toys that we hand each and every child their very own?  If you are wondering how a dvd player will work  -- I bought them a really nice TV two trips ago, so I'm hoping it still is faring well. Here is a photo of the first batch of toys we bought last week.

My goal is to hand every single one of the 100 children a toy of their own. We just bought more today, but can't fit anymore due to baggage restrictions, so I'll have to rely on the one toy store in their region for the rest! We've decided that we must fit all our personal belongings in our backpacks, so our baggage is  freed up for only orphanage donations.

Today, the manager at Target gave us a 10% discount when I told him what all the toys were for! What a nice guy! Anyway, gotta go pack!

What Keeps Us Sane...(repost)

This is a repost from 20 months ago, in honor of Puck. Puck has been missing for three days now (hence not much blogging). I'm beside myself with worry and spending pretty much all my time scouting the neighborhood, calling her name. Too sad to post much aboutg it, so I'm reposting this. It tells you a little bit about her. She will be 14 years old in 5 weeks:


Aside from repeatedly handing every worry and fear over to God, I have my three furry family members to keep me from going completely insane.

Never underestimate the  power of 'pet therapy'.

To the right is a photo Nastia just took of me and my cat, Puck. She has been with me for over twelve years. She has made eight moves with me, and is the most easy-going, intelligent cat I have ever met. Her only fault is a penchant for snacking on chipmunks and baby birds. Other than that, she is on the fast track to sainthood. She puts up with loads of unwanted attention from her canine sister, Matilda. She sleeps in the curve of my neck every single night. She enjoys a good nap, like me. She is also the only neatnick in a house of clutter-bugs. She puts up with alot. And I adore her to bits.


She has been there for me, through bad break-ups and deaths and adoption heart-break, and she also doesn't seem to mind that I have gained a full forty pounds since I brought her home. She is very non-judgemental that way.
I do find myself getting nervous as she approaches age thirteen. I bargain with God all the time to keep her here for another thirteen. Heck, why not let her break the Guinness world record for feline longevity? Here she is enjoying one of her favorite past-times:

And then there are the other two.....


Henry is five, and a very shy boy. He sticks close to me and to Puck, and doesn't really enjoy anyone else's company, if he must be honest. Matilda (the little one) just turned two, and has given me pause more than once to ponder God's possible sick sense of humor. She is a little hellion. She harasses Puck and Henry with equal fervor. She eats whatever she can get her paws on. She talks incessantly (and I do mean incessantly). She has also made no less than five emergency trips to the vet for eating things that could kill her. A cast-iron stomach obviously, as she is still alive after ingesting all of the following:

• Two pounds of dark chocolate
•  two dozen brownies with nuts
•  a pound bag of pistachios --including the bag
• a barbie leg
•  a ball of tinfoil
•  half of a rare vintage children's book from 1860
•  a half-box of refrigerator word magnets (that came out in her poop one word at a time...)
•  half a roll of scented toilet paper
•  a rubber duckie
•  an entire carton of leftover chinese spare ribs
•  a 12 oz bottle of scented peach body lotion... 

And these are just the things I can remember off the top of my head! So, I need to preface the above claim. Two of the three animals keep us sane.

The other one is obviously working for the other side...

The Silver Lining

Sometimes I feel like my life is just a big storm cloud. I know that sounds ungrateful, but I'm just being honest.  Life is often a struggle and sometimes I just don't feel up to the task, That's how I felt today.Everything simply piled up -- missing Dasha, fighting so hard for Anya with no end in sight, thoughts of moving to Siberia, Nastia regressing, house falling apart....and then Zolishka dying. It's days like these when I have to hunt really hard to find the silver lining. But today, I didn't have to hunt for it....it walked in my front door.

The constant silver lining in my life is my work. I know that's rare, and I'm incredibly grateful for it. Not only is my job rewarding and fun, but my staff are the greatest group of people you could ever meet. Tonight I had a cookout for them. They have been working so hard for me this summer, without one word of complaint. They have had to find their own way without me for the first time, and they have done an incredible job.

So, tonight they came over, -- McKey, Deenah,Chris, Stef, Hannah, Adelaide, Catherine, Tory, Zoe, and Darcy. Even Chesky & Rozena stopped by!  McKey cooked burgers and hotdogs on the new grill; we had corn on the cob and potato salad and s'mores. We sat by the firepit and chatted. We listened to The Spring Standards, and talked about the amazing  kids of Rebel Shakespeare. There was jumping on the trampoline, and swinging on the hammock. There was gossip in the kitchen about budding romances, there was costume sorting, and sword-fighting, and prop list making. I felt a deep sense of contentment and joy all night. I love my work. But I love the people who work for me even more.

Thanks for a great night guys. I feel so lucky to know each and every one of you.

You are the silver lining to my current storm-cloud life. Thank you for that.


Cute must-read anecdote: The photos below are of McKey and Chris. The first one is from almost ten years ago when they were my students and appearing together in Hamlet. To the right is a current one I snagged off their facebook page. Yes, they are now a couple:) So cute...

Don't Laugh

Zolishka has been very sick. She is Dasha's goldfish. She and Nastia got their fish the first week she was here. By some obvious miracle, they have both survived these last two months.  Nastia is very attached to (obsessed with?) Zolishka. She dotes on her with the level of attention and care of a Jewish mother ( I know lots of them, so I can say that...lol). Nastia adores this fish, and I expect that some of this attachment has to do with the absence of Dasha herself.


Anyway, Zolishka has had 'swim bladder' issues from day one. We rectify it in all the recommended ways - we stagger her feedings, we give her mushed peas when things get really bad, we cycle her water more often...we basically cater to this fish more than anyone else in the house! Lately, Zolishka has been lying on her side in a corner of the tank. Bailey, the other fish, has been keeping a close (and very moving) vigil by her side. It's been days now. Every morning we expect to see her floating at the top of the tank, and every day she surprises us with her endurance skills. She's a survivor. Or, as my dad would say, she has moxie.


Nastia has already cried about Zolishka's current status a few times this week. "Why does she have to suffer like this?" Nastia laments "It's not fair, she's so little..." And then, the inevitable, "DO something, mom!"


I've done everything within my human power to help, and so I resort to praying the rosary for her. Don't laugh. I know some of you might be thinking I'm completely nuts, but I'm sure you've done crazier things for your children, when push comes to shove. And  so I prayed, and I asked God, if it was His will, that he would give me Z's sickness instead. And then I went to work and forgot about it.


Lunchtime rolls around. Heading home, I feel nauseous. I get home and climb into bed. I start feeling worse. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I have a temperature. I feel positively wretched by 4pm. I sleep and sleep...


Nastia wakes me up, "Mom! Zolishka is still alive and she's doing a little swimming again!" 


She's right. I check. The little lazarus fish is foraging the bottom of the tank looking for dinner. She's still a little sideways, but she's made a remarkable recovery once again. The rosary? My offer to take on her little fishy suffering myself? coincidence? Who knows, but right now I have to go upstairs to puke. But I do it for Z, and for Nastia, so it's not for naught.

Updates On My Girls

Last night was the third time I found Nastia curled up in Dasha's bed, holding a stuffed animal dressed in one of Dasha's dresses. ( She had done this a few weeks ago so she could pretend it was Dasha..) She was rocking, and wanted to be alone. Later we talked, and she lashed out at me..

" I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DON'T JUST GET MARRIED! YOU'RE BEING SELFISH! I WANT MY SISTER DASHA BACK..." she yelled this at me and refused my offers to comfort and hold her. She has been distant for days.

I don't discuss my dating life here. It's not the place, so I won't go into any details. But suffice it to say, Nastia is convinced that it is easy as pie to just "decide" to get married and move on with adoption. Her argument is that Dasha needs us (she does) and wants us (that, too) and that anything standing in the way of her joining our family is simply irrelevant. Her heart aches for Dasha and she wants assurance that she will be ours. Of course my heart aches too, but I know that life is not as simple as Nastia's mind might interpret it.

As for Dasha, we have no updates as to how she is doing. I have called the orphanage every single day since she left us, but no answer. The word is that the children are away at summer camp and the staff is on vacation. I do hope we speak to her soon.I can't tell you how hard each day is not knowing how she is doing.

As for Anya, she is doing better. Nastia and I had a family meeting (I think I  mentioned it in an earlier post) and decided that we will move over there for several months if we do not get word that Anya will be allowed to come here soon. We set a deadline: If Anya is not in our home by mid-January, we will begin the process of moving to Siberia. The reason Anya is doing better, is because we told her this. Knowing we love her enough to move halfway across the world to be with her has improved her outlook drastically.

I'm sure everyone is wondering how we will accomplish this, especially on a teacher's salary, and I have to answer  "I honestly don't know." I'm leaving it in God's hands. I know I can find someone to live at my house and care for all our animals for free. It's a great deal -- free rent in exchange for dog and cat sitting. I know I can find an affordable place to stay in Kemerovo, as I've already researched that for several years. I know I can work there part-time, teaching English -- again, because I've done the research. Here is what I don't know:

1. How will I handle my arthritis in the extreme cold?
2. How will I manage Nastia's schooling without the resources I have here?
3. How will I handle the inevitable loneliness and depression from being separated from the life that I love and the people I care about?

I have several friends who are missionaries overseas, and I'm sure they'd be a wealth of information on making the adjustment. We'd only really be there for upwards of five months. I'd have to come back for my summer job. That I truly have no choice in. but being there for the hardest months will help Anya, and I wont be worrying every day about her. Finally, maybe our moving over there for several months will help move the powers-that-be to move a little faster? I mean, should an American citizen be forced to move to Siberia just to keep her daughter safe? Shouldn't my country do all it can to reunite us here? Five years, guys, five years this November. That's how long I've been fighting to bring Anya home.....

There has got to be an end in sight.

Healing Children from Trauma, Resource #2

There are many different 'camps'  when it comes to therapeutic parenting. I am averse to most of them. I appreciated Daniel Hughes' books, and they were the first resources that seemed to make a difference in parenting a hurt child. However, when I was introduced to this book, It was as if the heavens had opened up and God himself was giving his seal of approval. Beyond Consequences is simply life-changing.

You can find plenty of people online who say they have tried it and didn't like it. But the funny thing is, all their reasoning against it has to do with their own fears. I've had people tell me that "there is no way love can heal what is broken in my child."  Well, you know what? With an attitude like that, I don't doubt that you are right. 

Heather Forbes' work takes work. It is difficult and time-consuming and involves taking a deep look at your own self. Many people give up on it because they think it is asking too much of them. My response would be that nothing is too much to ask of us in helping to lead our children to healing. Nothing.

I could write volumes on what I have experienced in parenting a child with RAD and PTSD. All of the successes I have had are mainly because of using the BCLC method. Not only does it make sense from a practical standpoint, she also has science to back her up! Children who have experienced trauma and neglect have different brains. Science shows us this. I've seen my own daughter's MRIs and CAT scans -- trauma and neglect  atrophies a growing brain. It leaves scars. Heather's methods are healing children the world over. Do yourself a favor and read her books. I have recommended them to every person I know parenting a hurt child, as well as to social workers and therapists who come in contact with kids like mine.

Are you a fellow BCLC-loving parent? Let me know in the comment section below!

Resources For Those Considering Russian Adoption

Lately I've been getting quite a few private messages from people, inquiring about older child adoption from Russia. I think it is due to all the recent posts I've written concerning Nastia's orphanage, as well as our recent hosting experience with Dasha. Whatever is prompting it, I'm grateful!


Anyway, I thought -- for every person who writes, there are probably ten others who are curious but afraid to ask.  I thought I'd try to do a series of posts about this subject before I head off to Siberia. Once back, I know jetlag will get the best of me for awhile! so.....here is the first resource worth mentioning:


FRUA - Friends of Russian and Ukrainian Adoption.

This organization made my first few years more bearable  -- specifically the  FRUA chat board. You can find it here. Although FRUA chats can get heated and controversial sometimes,  it was also the first place I was able to turn to for support when RAD reared its ugly head. Veteran adoptive parents who had dealt with RAD became my lifeline. They made themselves available, day or night. They called me, they checked up on me, they listened when things felt unbearable. 
Anything I could throw at them, they had been there. Anyway, you get the point. I honestly don't think anyone should adopt an older child from Eastern Europe without first reading every post they can on FRUA. What better resource could there possibly be than families that have 'been there'?


Thank you, FRUA, for being my #1 resource when I adopted my daughter. You were a lifesaver!

Important Meeting

There is an important meeting happening on Monday concerning Anya. Although I cannot say anything more than that, I am asking for prayers. Please pray that those meeting will have an open heart and do whatever is possible to get Anya here before the year is out. Please also pray that they will feel the urgency of the situation and not 'table' the issue. Nastia and I have finally come to the decision that if we do not get promising news on Monday, we will begin planning to move temporarily to Siberia...( for a year, we're thinking.)

Anya has simply reached her limit in waiting. She needs our direct support. Calling once a week and sending care packages is not cutting it. I'm not sure how we will make the move, but I know God does. It's in His Hands. If those in a position to help cannot bring Anya to us, we will do the next best thing -- bring US to Anya.

 Of course, our hope is that we will get good news soon, but if not, we are committed to doing what is best for our WHOLE family, not just what is best for the two of us. Your prayers are needed, wanted and appreciated!

I Took Advantage Today...

.........of tax-free shopping in Massachusetts!


Nastia and I pooled our change, along with some donations from friends, and headed to Walmart and bought $200 worth of goodies for the kids at her orphanage! I usually bring them only clothes, shoes, toiletries and candy. But I really have this vision to hand every single one of them a toy of their own this time. I figure I could spend $5 on each child.

Nastia and I are both bringing only 3 changes of clothing so we can fit more stuff for the kids in our bags. Here is some of what we bought -- all under $5 each!  We got these for the boys. We bought all different kinds, and some of the disney pixar ones (Mater and such) for the little guys under age seven.

Then we bought lots of these for the girls...

But we got all different characters, with few doubles, so there would be less fighting. ( Nastia's sage advice..lol.) They had Cinderella, Snow White, Belle, Sleeping Beauty, Ariel, and a host of others. I'm sure we got something to please every taste!


In honor of my friends' daughter, Greta, we also got some of these little ponies. As Nastia says, some girls are way more into horses than dolls:)

And, finally, we bought a few tiny baby dolls very the little ones. 

We made sure each one had a different outfit!

If you have  ideas for really lightweight, small toy items, let me know!

Front Page!

 Was surprised we ended up on the Front page of the local news today. Every little bit helps! Word got out about my serendipitous meeting with Senator Kerry, and the news called for an update. Keep trusting the current momentum will work in our favor. Keep those prayers coming!

Your Orphanage Questions

I've received alot of emails and facebook messages with questions concerning the orphanage, why I go there, who is there, etc. so I thought I'd tell you some facts about it, and the children there, and then you can ask any questions you'd like to in the comment area. No question is off limits. I'm happy to tell you all I know!  So, here's  a start:


1. There are currently 100 children living here from ages 4 to 16.

2. The director allows some of the older children (over 16) to remain, because otherwise they would be homeless.
 
3. The orphanage is located in an extremely remote area.

4. Only 7 adoptions have ever happened here, mostly because it is in such an isolated area. (Most adoption facilitators in Russia do not want to work there. They told me this directly.)

5. Their entire monthly budget right now goes towards food, and they still do not have enough to go around.

6. Many of the children do not have shoes. (They often share a pair with others.)

7. Many, at my last visit,  did not  have any underwear or socks.

8. They wear the same clothing every day.

9. They must wash their own clothing, by hand. Yes, even the four-year-olds.

10. They all sleep either nude or in underpants - no money for pjs.

11. They sleep 16-20 to a room, in a series of bunk beds.

12. Their diet is very limited, and pretty much all the children are anemic, have a vitamin c deficiency and have giardia. (My daughter weighed 72 lbs at adoption, and she was almost 13.)

13. They have a rotation of caretakers, always changing every few days. No consistency. Some good, some bad. And there are no male role models for the boys. 

14. Many have spent their life here without ever getting a letter or phone call from anyone. Ever.


15. They own NO personal property - no toys, no books, no clothing.


16. Most admit to still hoping to hear from a parent one of these days. All I spoke to dream of being adopted, second only to a dream of being reunited with their birth parent.

17. You have the power to change a life with just some spare change! I have seen the shock and joy on their faces. You will literally CHANGE THEIR LIVES by showing your care. How lucky is that?


If you donate even $5 to paypal,  a child can get soap, shampoo, toothpaste, and a toothbrush!


If you donate even $1, that's a pack of pencils for school and paper to boot! 


I hope no one feels offended at my asking. Please do not feel obligated in any way! I just want to offer the opportunity to anyone who has some extra change and wants to support this particular venture. I certainly understand not everyone can, or wants to. to each his own!


So, ask away. Ask any questions you might have about this orphanage and these kids, and I'll answer. And don't worry, I will take lots of photos while I'm there!

Orphanage Visit #5!

Nastia and I will be heading over to Siberia in the next few weeks. Aside from comforting Anya and spending every second with her that we can, we have another priority --to visit Nastia's former orphanage to the south and bring them supplies and hope.

Nastia's orphanage is in the middle of nowhere. In fact, every year that I go back, the driver gets lost in the hills around the orphanage for a good hour before we find it. All dirt roads. All leading up and down into little hillside villages made up of severely impoverished families living in dilapidated houses the size of a small shed.


Each year,  I see more drunken men sitting outdoors in the early morning than I'd care to admit. Children covered in dirt and threadbare clothes wandering around the roads by themselves. A few hardworking old women tending to their potatoes in their postage-stamp gardens. Dogs with protruding ribs chained to the side of  houses or running wild in and out of the streets. This is the world these children live in, the world my daughter grew up in.

Each year I bring a giant duffle bag full of clothes and toys from home. I also buy 75-100 pairs of shoes in country ( depending on how many funds I'm able to raise)  and set up a little 'store' in the main hall of the orphanage. We let the kids come in, by group, and choose a pair.

These are some of the shoes we bought last summer. Anya and her friends picked them all out, at less than $8 a pair. We ended up with over 50 pairs. Fifty happy kids with new shoes for the summer!

Above are some of the hundred children that still live there, patiently waiting for a chance to pick out a gift from the toys we brought. (I wish I could hand each of them a family instead.)


 This post was actually my friend's idea. She suggested there may be many readers who want to help, and every bit makes a difference to these kids! Here's how you can: If you send a donation of any size,  I promise that every cent of it will be spent on the children at Nastia's orphanage. If you have a specific desire for something  -- shampoo or art supplies or even bikes and bigger things -- just mention that in your email or snail mail letter and I will see it done. I will even take photos of what I bought with your funds!

I would prefer funds be sent through the existing fund set up for Anya, but you can designate what the money is for so I will know it is for the orphanage. You can send funds via paypal here, or simply send a snail-mail check to: 

 Bring Anya Home Fund

 National Grand Bank

 93 Pleasant Street

 Marblehead, MA 01945

(Please be sure to mention what the funds are for!)

I plan to leave about the 23rd or 24th so you'd need to send snail-mail checks pretty soon, but paypal can be accepted up until the 21st. If you are so inclined to pass this post on to others who might want to contribute, I'd be most grateful. There is a link at the bottom of the post to make it easy to share on facebook and other sites.


If you have ANY questions or concerns, do not hesitate to ask me.

Every penny makes a difference to these kids!

Miracle on Lafayette Street

Sometimes God makes Himself known in a big way. I mean big as in a 'there is no way to explained what just happened' kind of way. Today God stepped out and revealed his power to me in a way I could never have imagined.

I've been speaking with Anya lately, but not blogging about it, because it is not good. She is depressed, despondent, and  recently homeless again. She is dealing with the loss of several friends to suicide. She doesn't see a way out, and has given up. I can't blame her. After almost five years of waiting to be with my family, I would give up, too. She waits impatiently for us to find a way to come to her this month, and she lives off my own constant reassurance that God is watching over her.

So, I've been angry at God, if I'm to be honest. I have been talking to him non-stop this week about Anya and asking him what the heck he wants me to do. I don't feel his support. I keep telling him I am trusting him, but when I speak to Anya and hear her desperation, I lose it. I'm then just a frantic mom who wants him to help her baby. NOW.

So today was like ever other day...with too much on my plate, and all I could think of was 'how am I possibly going to afford to get to Siberia this month?' and 'when is God going to answer my prayer?'  I was driving to work, and this is when I do alot of my praying. I was feeling the weight of Anya's situation -- her life hanging in the balance -- and I just starting crying and talking outloud to God.

I told him that I was honestly ready to move to Siberia if that is what needed to be done. I was sick of waiting for a call back from Senator Kerry's office. Sick of being told by his Chief of Staff that he'd get back to me. Sick of not knowing if anything was being done for my girl, while she remained homeless and hopeless in a world without any support. I was in the midst of asking God to please open up doors for me,  to please  inspire people to get things moving at Kerry's office. Please move the powers that be to help me with Anya, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ...And I looked to the side of the road on Lafayette street.

There stood Senator John Kerry on the steps of Saint Joseph's Church .

 No tv cameras, no masses of constituents -- just John Kerry and the Mayor of Salem standing under a giant cement frieze of Jesus on the cross.

I pulled over. I looked out my window. I wasn't dreaming. He was standing about 5 feet from my car. I called my friend Brian, 'Brian, what do I do? John Kerry is standing outside my window and I have been trying to reach him for almost 5 years...letters, calls, emails, etc. What do I do?'

"You go talk to him."

And so I did. I walked right up to him, and put out my hand. I told him my name and that I was the woman working to reunite her daughter with her sister - for 5 years now. I told him we had a mutual friend, which we do. I told him I was grateful beyond measure for anything he has already done to help reunite my girls. I told him I was heading to Siberia next week, where Anya remains homeless. I hoped to bring her good news. I told him I had been speaking to his Chief of Staff, Drew O'Brien, who kept me updated. Suddenly, a man sticks out his hand, " Hi Keri, I'm Drew, nice to meet you finally."

I won't post the details of the conversation,  but I will say that Senator Kerry was kind and also present. He looked me in the eye and listened. He did not rush to get away. I felt heard and felt respected. I walked away and burst into tears in my car.

John Kerry's name had been on my lips not 5 minutes before I saw him, as I poured out my heart to God. Senator Kerry is one of the few people in a position to help. I had written him countless letters over the years, send him emails, called his offices. I had done everything in my power to reach him, and here he was on the steps of a church, in my hometown, at the very same moment I happened to be driving by... at the very moment I was crying out to God for a sign that He heard my prayers.

That, my friends, is a miracle.

A Few of The 146 Million

Here's N. She's one of them.

And here's E. He's 11. He's one, too.

And let's not forget the ones aging out in a few years, like A....

Or sweethearts like V who only recently lost their parents and yearn for a life like they used to have, before the orphanage..

All these kids are orphans, but they are some of the lucky ones. They are available for Winter Hosting through an amazing organization. All these kids, and the hundreds of others that will be listed in September, are looking for loving families to host them this winter for four weeks.

I cannot say enough about New Horizons For Children. The work they do is nothing short of miraculous. Please consider hosting a child this winter! You can be married or single, have children or not. You don't have to be rich. You don't have to speak Russian or Latvian or Ukrainian. You just need to have room in your heart for a child who needs love. (Note: A few people emailed me to say they could not afford the hosting fees. You should still look into it, as there are donor families who sometimes cannot host but help financially instead. It never hurts to inquire!)

If you are interested in learning more about hosting, don't hesitate to contact me. Hosting Dasha this summer was the single most life-changing experience I have had aside from adopting my daughter. I would soo love to see more families hosting. This summer, many children were not chosen by families and could not come. My dream is that every single child that NHFC chooses to advocate for is hosted.

If you go here, you will see photos of children who are already available for winter hosting. More photos will come in September.

If nothing else, please keep these kids in your prayers!