Anyway, this computer is so very slow it was only today that I had the patience to use it. I've already reached my limit after one paragraph! I miss blogging. I miss reflecting about our life and chronicling it each day. I feel like I'm kind of floating in space without it -- no anchor, if that makes sense. The trip has been a mixed bag for both of us. There are alot of heavy drinkers in my family, of which I am not one. It's hard to watch the disappointment get the best of my daughter, with uncles choosing nightly binge drinking over spending time with her. She cried all the way to Target last night about it. She is confused and sad, and I don't blame her. If only they could see the pain they are causing. I'm done with talking about it. It does no good. If they only knew how one or two hours of their time and attention would feed her. She craves it and feels so unworthy when they ignore her. 'Mom, they don't call me anymore, they don't try to hug or kiss me. They don't hardly look at me..." was some of the conversation last night. I wish I could take the pain from her.
One a better note, her relationship with my mom has grown and deepened. My mom is giving her attention and support and they are spending time talking and playing games. I'm so grateful. Anyway, apologies for the depressing post. I'm pretty down this week. My family is so distant these days, and their priorities are very different from mine.
I'll likely delete this post later, but for now I needed to speak this. I needed to acknowledge that things are not great and I'm praying for eyes to be opened. Anastasia deserves the attention, love and support from all of my family. If only they knew how much pain their indifference and broken promises cause this damaged little girl. They have the power to be part of her healing. I want them to make that choice.