‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Tornado Warning

So, there is a tornado warning in effect right now, here in central Florida. Two tornadoes have touched down a few miles away. I've never been here during a tornado warning. It's pretty surreal. Some internal house alarm keeps going off and reminding us that the warning is in effect. The wind is whipping around the house, and the rain pouring into the porch, sideways. It's actually pretty cool. Anastasia is hiding in the guest room watching Lord of the Rings. She doesn't like entertaining the idea of a tornado. It conjures up images of witches and houses falling for her. She'd rather hibernate and immerse herself in Middle Earth until the wind stops. I've been standing on the porch watching the weather do its' thing. If I only listen, it's like being home in Massachusetts during a nor'easter. I love the sound of the wind howling. There is something very primal about it.

Anyway, this computer is so very slow it was only today that I had the patience to use it. I've already reached my limit after one paragraph! I miss blogging. I miss reflecting about our life and chronicling it each day. I feel like I'm kind of floating in space without it -- no anchor, if that makes sense. The trip has been a mixed bag for both of us. There are alot of heavy drinkers in my family, of which I am not one. It's hard to watch the disappointment get the best of my daughter, with uncles choosing nightly binge drinking over spending time with her. She cried all the way to Target last night about it. She is confused and sad, and I don't blame her. If only they could see the pain they are causing. I'm done with talking about it. It does no good. If they only knew how one or two hours of their time and attention would feed her. She craves it and feels so unworthy when they ignore her. 'Mom, they don't call me anymore, they don't try to hug or kiss me. They don't hardly look at me..." was some of the conversation last night. I wish I could take the pain from her.

One a better note, her relationship with my mom has grown and deepened. My mom is giving her attention and support and they are spending time talking and playing games. I'm so grateful. Anyway, apologies for the depressing post. I'm pretty down this week. My family is so distant these days, and their priorities are very different from mine.

I'll likely delete this post later, but for now I needed to speak this. I needed to acknowledge that things are not great and I'm praying for eyes to be opened. Anastasia deserves the attention, love and support from all of my family. If only they knew how much pain their indifference and broken promises cause this damaged little girl. They have the power to be part of her healing. I want them to make that choice.

No comments:

Post a Comment

What do you have to say? Leave a comment!