It's a rocky road for both Nastia and D -- finding their way this week. Both have similar backgrounds of trauma and neglect, and boy does it shine forth brilliantly when they are together! First may I say, thank God for therapy! Nastia returned to therapy after a 2 month hiatus and it was incredibly productive. The therapist reminded me that D's visit is bringing up some deep and not-so-pleasant memories on Nastia's part. It's not just the jealousy, it's the constant reminders of her own history. Anyway, following therapy things got a bit more settled.
D is obviously feeling safe and comfortable with us, because the tantrums have arrived. Big ones. The kicking, screaming, red in the face, eardrum-blowing kind. The kind where you can't figure out how all this rage fits in such a tiny little frame. Tonight's was epic, but we managed to survive it and even ended in a very healing way. I asked D, towards the end of her 45 minute tirade if she wanted me to hold her. She nodded and crawled into my arms. 'Rock me, Mama' she asked 'Like a baby.' And so I did. And Nastia and I traded off rocking our sweet little tornado, and she finally succumbed to sleep.
This all happened after I returned from the wake of someone I love very much. His funeral is tomorrow and I still don't have a babysitter. Hoping one will miraculously appear at 9:30am tomorrow.
Well, I'll leave you with a few photos. We still have not found the lost camera, so these are not great quality -- they were all taken with my phone. If we can't find the camera soon, I may have to just give in and buy a new one. Darn.
Wears this Cinderella costume of Nastia's whenever and wherever possible!
Did I mention she adores the animals?
She puts on impromptu shows whenever possible. This one involved a slinky and a lot of dancing and spinning!
'...sweet little tornado', LOL. She is dangerously cute. I can't decide which pic I like best. I could really scream at this damn world- what's wrong with it that she cannot stay with you forever. :((( Ugh!
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Brilliant photos. Will you make her a little photo book of her trip?
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is the sleeping princess.
wish they wouldn't make me work tomorrow so I could come down there and babysit for you!
ReplyDeleteYou might pass this along to Nastia - I know that when I used to rock my little Sasha, holding her in the rocking chair in the dark, sometimes I felt like I was rocking the little girl me too, and it was very healing for ME. My own mom had spent a lot of my 1st 2 years of life in the hospital, and I have always kind of felt like I had a hole in my heart from that.
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot of possibility of healing when you're loving someone, and not just for them but for yourself too. I'm glad Nastia's rocking Dasha too. Wish I could rock them both. And a big hug for Keri too!
Love, Rosemary Clark
If we actually knew each other and I lived a little closer to Marblehead, I'd have loved to babysit for you. I hope you found someone.
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