I cannot change the fact that Ukraine does not allow single parent adoptions anymore. I can only pray and hope the hearts of those in positions of power will learn to put the children first. Unlikely, but still -- miracles occur everyday.
Each night I have a long conversation with God about what I am grateful for and also what I need from Him. Lately the 'need' list is getting heftier. I need Him to grant me the grace to let D go in a few weeks. I honestly do not know how I will do it. The four-plus year Anya saga makes it difficult for me to trust in a positive outcome, but I'm trying.
I want God to help me accept that D may not be my child. Even though she is a perfect fit. Even though she tells us everyday that she wants us. Even though she threatens to run away and come find us when she has to return to Ukraine. Even though I know in my heart that D would truly thrive with us. Please, God, please remind me that you have a much better vantage point than I. You know best what is best for this little girl. Help me to think like you.
This little girl -- this frustrating, irascible, demanding, tantrum-loving, independent, fiery, sometimes impossible, always amazing little girl --has captured our hearts, and holds them tight in her little fists. I want the world for her. I want her to have EVERY SINGLE thing she needs, in spades.
God grant me the Grace to accept the things I cannot change.