‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Settling In and the Onset of Tantrums

It's a rocky road for both Nastia and D -- finding their way this week. Both have similar backgrounds of trauma and neglect, and boy does it shine forth brilliantly when they are together! First may I say, thank God for therapy! Nastia returned to therapy after  a 2 month hiatus and it was incredibly productive. The therapist reminded me that D's visit is bringing up some deep and not-so-pleasant memories on Nastia's part. It's not just the jealousy, it's the constant reminders of her own history. Anyway, following therapy things got a bit more settled.

D is obviously feeling safe and comfortable with us, because the tantrums have arrived. Big ones. The kicking, screaming, red in the face, eardrum-blowing kind. The kind where you can't figure out how all this rage fits in such a tiny little frame. Tonight's was epic, but we managed to survive it and even ended in a very healing way. I asked D, towards the end of her 45 minute tirade if she wanted me to hold her. She nodded and crawled into my arms. 'Rock me, Mama' she asked 'Like a baby.' And so I did. And Nastia and I traded off rocking our sweet little tornado, and she finally succumbed to sleep.

This all happened after I returned from the wake of someone I love very much. His funeral is tomorrow and I still don't have a babysitter. Hoping one will miraculously appear at 9:30am tomorrow.

Well, I'll leave you with a few photos. We still have not found the lost camera, so these are not great quality -- they were all taken with my phone. If we can't find the camera soon, I may have to just give in and buy a new one. Darn.

Wears this Cinderella costume of Nastia's whenever and wherever possible!

Did I mention she adores the animals?

She puts on impromptu shows whenever possible. This one involved a slinky and a lot of dancing and spinning!


  1. Anonymous4:12 AM

    '...sweet little tornado', LOL. She is dangerously cute. I can't decide which pic I like best. I could really scream at this damn world- what's wrong with it that she cannot stay with you forever. :((( Ugh!

  2. Brilliant photos. Will you make her a little photo book of her trip?

    My favorite is the sleeping princess.

  3. wish they wouldn't make me work tomorrow so I could come down there and babysit for you!

  4. Anonymous8:29 AM

    You might pass this along to Nastia - I know that when I used to rock my little Sasha, holding her in the rocking chair in the dark, sometimes I felt like I was rocking the little girl me too, and it was very healing for ME. My own mom had spent a lot of my 1st 2 years of life in the hospital, and I have always kind of felt like I had a hole in my heart from that.

    There's a lot of possibility of healing when you're loving someone, and not just for them but for yourself too. I'm glad Nastia's rocking Dasha too. Wish I could rock them both. And a big hug for Keri too!
    Love, Rosemary Clark

  5. Mary Boucher9:36 AM

    If we actually knew each other and I lived a little closer to Marblehead, I'd have loved to babysit for you. I hope you found someone.


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