" Mama, I think I'm drunk." She said after thirty minutes.
"No, honey, you're just feeling the effects of the medicine. You are not drunk."
"Mama, you have two faces and they are fighting each other for a spot on your body." Even the doctor laughed at that one. Then she tilted her head towards the nurse and blurted out " Hey, lady! Where the hell did you get that triple nose?" (I want to know where the heck she got that language from.)
" Honey, please don't use bad words, ok?" I asked gently.
" Mom, I'm trying like HELL just to get my eyes to work normally! Forget about my language!"
She tried several times to get up and walk away. The doctor was very gentle with her and explained that she couldn't get up because she could fall.
"Are you sayin' I don't know how to walk, mister?" She said, with the intention of being funny. She laughed hysterically. She was cracking herself up. After pretending that her oxygen monitor was a fish for ten minutes. She announced she had to go to the bathroom. It took the three of us to get her there, because she tried to run. " This is fun! I'm funny mama! I'm your dizzy weasel!"
I have no idea where she came up with that line.
I managed to get her on and off the toilet by myself, but they met me at the door to get her back to the chair. She tried with all her might to stay awake. It took so long that the doctor finally asked if he could clean her teeth while they were waiting.
" Sure..... what the hell...." she responded flippantly, with the toss of her hand. My daughter had turned into a foul-mouthed sailor.
Before she fell asleep, she motioned me to come closer. She grabbed my shirt in her fist to bring me close to her face. She then told me she loved me and that if she died, please give all her money to Matilda. (Matilda is the dog.)
After three long hours of watching (gulp) all the work was done. She 'came to' eventually and was asked to answer a few basic questions. What is your name? Anastasia. Where do you live? Boston. (Well, at least she was in the right state.) Then they released her to go home. She stumbled out of the building and to the car, leaning on me, and fell asleep instantly. When I woke her at home to get out of the car, she opened her eyes and smiled a huge white-toothed smile, " Hi mom!"
" Hi Honey, how are you feeling?" I asked as I slowly slipped my arm around her to guide her out of the car.
" I'm feeling like I'm not scared of doctors anymore."
" That's great honey! He really was a wonderful doctor." I agreed.
By the time I got her in the house and went to get her a glass of water, she was curled up sound asleep in her bed. (The doctor had said it was ok if she slept a few hours once we got home.) I climbed in with her and held my baby close and just enjoyed the moment of quiet, holding her and listening to the in and out of her breath. I love moments such as these.
When she wakes up I will tell her that she is such a brave girl, my dizzy weasel :)