Hurting - I'm still so sad about my friend who hurt me. I keep praying to accept it, but I'm still so very sad. I forgive her -- that was the easy part -- but I am still so confused about her behavior and she has chosen not to respond to me. Nastia is devastated by it, and I hope you'll pray for us. We need healing in this area.
Healing - Being able to witness from afar how perfectly Dasha fits in her host family brings me incredible joy and healing from our grief at not being able to adopt her. We spoke to Dasha last night, which turned out not to be the best thing. But it shed light on the fact that she did attach to us, which means she will surely bond with this family, and my greatest hope is they will decide to adopt her. The host mom is incredible. I love her. And I see her love for Dasha and, honestly, do not feel any jealousy as I thought I might. I just feel sooo grateful that she ended up in such a loving, caring, awesome family. We won't be speaking to Dasha again like that for the near future ( if at all)-- it was too painful for all involved -- but I do get to keep in touch via photos and messages from the host family. God, I thank you for that!
Hoping -- I feel like I am performing a balancing act -- waiting for news on the host program, waiting for news on Anya, waiting for my call to get fingerprinted for my USCIS forms, waiting for a delayed paycheck to arrive so I can buy some Christmas gifts for Nastia...But all this waiting means hope is in the air. With so much to hope for, something is bound to go right, don't you think?
Honoring -- God, that is. A miracle occurred this week. I can't give many details, but I don't think the person will mind if I share the basic facts. A woman recently stumbled upon my blog ( I'm guessing she googled Kemerovo.) Anyway, she had adopted a child from that region and found out at court that there was an older sibling. (Sound familiar? That is how I found out about Anya!) She immediately inquired about the child but was told she could not have contact. (Again, sound familiar?) Well, she did searching of her own and found him on the Russian database but it only showed the child to be in the Kemerovo Region. She was stuck. Until this week! She found my blog and saw a photo I had posted that looked EXACTLY like the child she had found on the database. Could it possibly be her child's brother? She contacted me, and a string of emails ensued. She gave me all the info & I contacted the Director of Orphanage # 5 and guess what?