‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Ahh, Wish They'd Call!

As some of you know, I had called Massachusetts DSS about two months ago for information on becoming a foster parent. I have not heard from them yet. I called a 2nd time last month, and tonight I wrote an email.

I don't get it. Everywhere I turn there are stories in the paper and on the news concerning the desperate need in my state for foster parents. They even place ads in the local paper! What gives? I just looked up the most recent statistics: over 11,000 children in state care and only 2500 approved foster families to place them in. So why in the world aren't they calling me?

Tonight when I wrote I typed my phone number twice, and I explained that I also had experience with PTSD and RAD. Maybe that'll help?

Anyway, my hope is still to foster an infant or very young toddler. Anyone over three years of age would cause pretty significant jealousy issues for Anastasia. But she is anxious to have a sibling. And boy does she love cuddling and caring for babies!

I'm ready to parent another child, though I think fostering is best until I know for sure ( and long term) that Anastasia will be ok. Keep us in your prayers!


  1. Oh, I hope they call! You would be great!

  2. I hope you hear something tomorrow or soon. I never understand why when they need families and there is a good one available they don't jump on it, but it always seems the case.

  3. That is bizarre. I hope they call soon.

  4. It's the same in GA. They, too, have all the ads everywhere you look but no phone calls. Nope. I've been waiting to hear from them for over 3 years and nothing, nada. I don't understand either. I think they just have money budgeted for ads so they spend it but don't really mean it.

    When J was first placed here ICPC notified the state before placement. GA was supposed to monitor the placement. Someone has yet to show up or call (2 years and 3 months later). The placing state finally gave up after 6 months of waiting on GA and hired someone to monitor the placement. Good thing J was in a good home or she would've fell off the radar.

    Hope the other situation is resolving itself.

  5. Not surprising. My recommendations: Call them every day. Email them at least once each week. Look up all the people involved in doing foster care and contact them until you have an actual appointment. Unfortunately, that's what it takes...

  6. Anonymous3:20 PM

    Lisa (above) probably nailed it. It's a money thing. Not only do they need to spend their advertising budget, but they probably try to keep the number of children that they care for at a certain level, so as to retain a certain amount of federal funding...very sad (if true).

  7. Be careful with telling them your qualifications. In my experience case workers REALLY downplay any PTSD or RAD. They say things like "kids are resilient" and "he's too young to have RAD" or "if a child really has RAD, they need to be in an institution."
    Call again. It may just be that it is the holidays and there is generally a BIG influx of kids in the system during the holidays. They may be too busy to get back to you. Call again in January.

  8. I am a foster parent. This is not bizarre at all! It is the order of the day. Never expect anything better; expect a LOT worse....and, unfortunately, not just "not doing anything" worse. WORSE would be to get a worker on your case (so to speak) who is gung-ho. After two years of being ignored - I got a young worker who is zealous - and zealous in horrific ways. From day one, she seemed dedicated to getting our foster child out of our home and into residential treatment. I am truly wondering if she gets some sort of kick-back for placing kids. That doesn't seem reasonable, but from day one - the first meeting! - she has done everything she can to remove him from our home. This woman is truly a nightmare. But - if I need help? Forget that! Our foster child is a handsome, bright, athletic HS student. He refuses to wear glasses (as one might expect) but can I get any help with contact lenses? No way! I have to pay the $200 or let him go to school blind.


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