‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Those Instruments of Torture Thinly Veiled as Christmas Lights

That photo is me five minutes ago. Anastasia took it after I had battled the swarm of Christmas lights she brought up from the basement for an hour straight.

I hate Christmas lights. I mean a deep-seated, unnatural, I-would-murder-them-if-I could abhorrence. I try to leave my harsh feelings at the door and give them an honest chance to prove me wrong each year, but THEY DON'T CARE! They LIKE driving me crazy...I can sense it. They don't care that I took the time to gently wrap them in tissue paper each January when they get packed away. They don't care that I meticulously check EACH bulb before I even THINK of wrapping them around the tree. They don't care! They LIKE seeing me lose it. They secretly plot all year how they will circumvent all my careful planning to get them up and working. They hate me!

So, Christmas lights, you win. You're on the tree and you're NOT working again. Fine. Be that way. But don't even THINK I'm going to humor you with another tantrum. I'm done. I'm hitting the hot chocolate as we speak, and I'm telling the entire blogging world about your sick sense of humor. Do what you want...I'm going to find a younger, cuter and more attentive set of lights to spend my time on. See how you like that.


  1. OMG! I know! Last year I even wrapped them in individual bags after checking every one and this year like magic I have strings that have blown out bulbs and of course they are the older ones that take the whole string out instead of just the individual bulbs.

    Definitely thinking of buying newer LED ones all around. I bought them for outside last year and they aren't too bad. They just get tangled worse because they are snowflake shaped. Can't win. lol

  2. I totally understand. The tree went unfinished on Thanksgiving because no one was open past 6 that we could get another box of lights. :(

  3. LOL. Been there, done that. A hot chocolate toast to you! jeNN

  4. Hey Keri,
    Can you please email me? I don't have your email address on this computer and I need your address for Tracy to send you an invitation.

    P.S. I HATE Christmas lights. They suck and will drive me right over the brink. I broke down 4/5 years ago and bought a pre-lit tree on sale after Christmas. Now I just hate moving that huge (and heavy) tree from the basement to the upstairs. But at least I don't have to deal with the lights. Wonder what happens when one goes out????

  5. He's Mr. Green Christmas....He's Mr. Sun!!!!

  6. That is why God created trees that come with the lights on them already.

  7. I have a pre-lit tree. I just can't deal with lights anymore. I must be getting too old. Good luck with the evil lights!

  8. Anonymous8:59 PM

    Hee Hee. I share your distain .

    I love your blog. I found it from Christine.

    I have been reading your old posts...so glad I found you!

  9. Heeeheee! That'll teach em! Hope it was a BIG cup of hot chocolate. You deserve it after fighting the good fight.


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