‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Day One, Kitty Wars: No Ceasefire In Sight

Reporting from Eastern New England, this is FaerieMama.

The special forces arrived under heavy fire of snow and ice at the backdoor. The enemy insurgent had breached the Livingroom border unexpectedly, and they were going in, with brave faces...

They met up with expert Combat General Puck, just before the border, to survey the situation. (General Puck has a lifetime of experience with this kind of breach.) They took the time to observe the enemy from afar:

The insurgent was boldly camped out in the open, with a clear view of enemy lines from her high vantage point. She had already successfully completed three or four raids in Hallway and Bathroom. Emboldened by her successes, she had taken on the highly populated area of Livingroom .......known canine territory. She was urged to withdraw, but efforts were futile:

Special forces sent in Lieutenant Matilda for a closer look. The lieutenant urged the insurgent to "cease all hostile actions immediately". She responded with renewed threats and drew her weapons. Lieutenant Matilda tried to hold her ground and repeated the need for FULL and IMMEDIATE withdrawal of Livingroom territory. Her words went unheeded:

Lt. Matilda retreated under pressure and Secretary of Steak, Henry, was sent in to try and work out a ceasefire agreement. He released the following statement earlier today " Our goal remains a durable ceasefire that will lead to permanent stabilization of LivingRoom." The insurgent rebuffed these statements with a shockingly bold show of teeth and claws. Sec. Henry, by eyewitness accounts, held his ground bravely:

We regret to report that no ceasefire agreement has yet been reached . Lt Matilda continues to patrol the border, though at a safe distance. General Puck sent out an urgent request for backup units from neighboring humans. In a rare photo captured below, the enemy combatant can be seen brazenly instigating a response from special forces at the border. We will keep you posted on further developments.

In other news, humanitarian groups in the region are reaching out to any displaced humans by providing them with knitted blankets -- there is a great need during this cold snap:

Water supplies continued to dwindle in the nether regions of Kitchen, due to frozen water lines.
Heaters were implemented in the adjoining country of Basement Catch-All Room to help unfreeze the lines. For the meantime, humans in the area were forced to forego dishwashing and bathing until water could be restored to the region.

And that is our news for tonight. This is FaerieMama reporting from Eastern New England. Good Night and God Bless.

5 comments:

  1. I hope you have a great start to the week!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was too funny, pets are great in times when your stuck inside. I hope you keep warm and you get some water soon!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great post! You may want to try attacking the area of the main water valve in your home with a hair dryer. Engage your weapon at maximum capacity and aim it right at the pipes, especially in the direct vicinity of the valve and the surrounding 3-4 feet. This operation has proven extremely successful on repeated missions at our house here in the frozen west.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous11:05 AM

    Stay warm, I hope those pipes unfreeze for you. We have a foot and a half of snow here!
    I wanted to email you offline to thank you for your encouragement, but I can't find your email address on here!
    If you get a moment, drop me a line... mccabejen@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. I needed this laugh tonight! wehave our own little battle here, which sibling can shout the loudest and wind other siblings up the most.At the moment of going to press i'm not sure that we have a clear winner, but they've all passed with flying colours in the driving mam so crazy she's ready to rip her own hair out event. The making mams ears ring with the constant bickering is neck and neck at the moent too Could even be a photo finish needed to sort that one! Thankfully mam has gathered all her reserves of strength and chased them all(the small ones anyhoo!) to bed for the sake of their own health and well being! Aaagh!
    Hope you're keeping nice and warm and your pipes unfreeze soon xXx

    ReplyDelete

What do you have to say? Leave a comment!