‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Monday, January 05, 2009

Taking the Plunge

I'm going to do it. I'm jumping in. That's right....I'm making a list of goals for 2009. I never do this because, well, frankly, I can be a lazy bum in some respects and always end up disappointed when I don't live up to my own aspirations. But I keep thinking of all these things I really want to accomplish this year and I thought the least I could do was humor my obsessive thoughts and put them down on paper. Well, virtual paper anyway. I'm also not putting any pressure on myself to do them. (Hear that, Mr. Guilt? No pressure.) But I want to be able to look at them now and again for inspiration:

Finally Become a Full-Time Vegetarian
I have been flirting with vegetarianism for over a decade. The longest I've gone is nine months. I've tried going raw, going vegan, going macrobiotic, going pescetarian....but I always end up with red meat in my mouth in the end. I don't seem to have the will power. But, darn it, I want this year to be different. I could say I'm doing it for health reasons, but that would be lying. I simply can't rationalize eating animals anymore. I could never ever kill one myself, so what gives me the right to eat one? I'm not evangelistic about it, so don't worry. I won't be turning this into a P.E.T.A blog or anything. It's just that, well, my heart hurts when I eat any form of animal. And I just don't want to anymore.

Growing a Vegetable Garden in my Yard
I know next to nothing about gardening, even though my father forced us to weed and plant things almost every weekend of the spring and summer when we were growing up. But I want to learn! My plan is to find someone really passionate about self-reliance and gardening who wants to teach me...for free. I have a big yard, so I really have no excuse. We do already grow blackberries, strawberries, mint and such, but I can't take credit for them. They were already growing when I moved in four years ago. In my garden I want to grow tomatoes, spinach, corn, carrots, peas, eggplant, cucumber, and rhubarb!

Become A Foster Parent
This is simply a step in my dream to have a bigger family. As naive as it sounds, I really want to change the world one child at a time. There is no greater way for me to give of my life than to raise a child. Even last year I did not think I would be able to adopt more children because of Anastasia's RAD and PTSD issues. But she's grown and matured in so many ways, and we both feel ready for another child to come into our lives.

Create A Healthier Body For Myself
I'm at least forty pounds overweight for my height and frame. I don't exercise enough. I drink too much coffee and too little water. I don't put enough nutrient rich food in my body. I'm 43. I can't keep going like this without jeopardizing my life. It's not fair to my daughter and future children.

Find A Kind-Hearted Man That Can Put Up With Me
I don't mean to brag, but I kinda used to have to fight off the men. However, that hasn't happened in almost a decade. I pretty much stopped dating about six or seven years ago. Why? You got me. I have no idea, but I'm sure it's tied into issues with body image and weight gain. Also, my priorities shifted. I really wanted children and the last two men I dated adamantly did NOT want children. I'm even uncomfortable writing about this, because it makes me feel so vulnerable! I won't be devastated if I never marry, but it would be nice to share this journey with a kindred spirit. He'd have to be a pretty special guy, with endless patience and a great sense of humor. He'd have to love kids at least as much as me, and he'd have to give me a wide berth. I mean, I love my freedom and independence.

Well, I think that's it. I don't want to get carried away. Those five things alone will keep me plenty busy. Let me know if you have any sage advice regarding any of them. I'm always open to the wisdom of those who have been there/done that!

Ok, it's almost 2am. I have got to get myself to bed!


  1. Hi

    thanks for popping by my wee blog

    i have really enjoyed looking through yours

    i hope 2009 brings you all you want

    andy & mel

    the daft highland hermits

  2. Well, these are pretty good goals, but I'm a little disappointed nudity isn't on there.

    Thanks for nominating me! You are too kind. I'm sure I will never win. They nominate bloggers with like a million readers like Dooce!

  3. Hey this is random.. Have you heard of Brandi Carlile.. good music

  4. Wow...yes; I'd say those are major! :)

  5. Great list! I didn't even make one this year. How pitiful is that!?!

  6. Wow! What a list. Good luck, we'll be with you her eon your journey as you try and meet these goals. (and cheering you on!)

  7. Go, go ,go for it...I so hope you achiev your goals.

  8. Im right there with you on the gardening thing. Of course, Ive been saying it for TWO years, this year I WILL do it. Good luck

  9. Tons of good energy to you that your dreams may be fulfilled, or that you find strength and peace if they are not.

  10. great goals, i wish you all the best!
    no advice on becoming vegetarian, still working on it myself for the same reasons
    - my gardening advice would be just be aware that some things will die no matter how hard you try and dont give up because of it. also, plant a few lots of seeds/seedlings of each veg so that after all your hard work and waiting you will have plenty of veggies (because theres nothing worse than gettin to the end and having little to show for it. gardening is so relaxing for me, im sure you will enjoy it:)
    you are such a kind hearted person for taking in children that need you, i am so happy this is your dream, these children will be so lucky to have you and your love!
    good luck creating healthy habbits, one of my own new year goals
    and i hope you find a man that is just perfect for you and your dreams


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