Taking the Plunge

I'm going to do it. I'm jumping in. That's right....I'm making a list of goals for 2009. I never do this because, well, frankly, I can be a lazy bum in some respects and always end up disappointed when I don't live up to my own aspirations. But I keep thinking of all these things I really want to accomplish this year and I thought the least I could do was humor my obsessive thoughts and put them down on paper. Well, virtual paper anyway. I'm also not putting any pressure on myself to do them. (Hear that, Mr. Guilt? No pressure.) But I want to be able to look at them now and again for inspiration:

Finally Become a Full-Time Vegetarian
I have been flirting with vegetarianism for over a decade. The longest I've gone is nine months. I've tried going raw, going vegan, going macrobiotic, going pescetarian....but I always end up with red meat in my mouth in the end. I don't seem to have the will power. But, darn it, I want this year to be different. I could say I'm doing it for health reasons, but that would be lying. I simply can't rationalize eating animals anymore. I could never ever kill one myself, so what gives me the right to eat one? I'm not evangelistic about it, so don't worry. I won't be turning this into a P.E.T.A blog or anything. It's just that, well, my heart hurts when I eat any form of animal. And I just don't want to anymore.

Growing a Vegetable Garden in my Yard
I know next to nothing about gardening, even though my father forced us to weed and plant things almost every weekend of the spring and summer when we were growing up. But I want to learn! My plan is to find someone really passionate about self-reliance and gardening who wants to teach me...for free. I have a big yard, so I really have no excuse. We do already grow blackberries, strawberries, mint and such, but I can't take credit for them. They were already growing when I moved in four years ago. In my garden I want to grow tomatoes, spinach, corn, carrots, peas, eggplant, cucumber, and rhubarb!

Become A Foster Parent
This is simply a step in my dream to have a bigger family. As naive as it sounds, I really want to change the world one child at a time. There is no greater way for me to give of my life than to raise a child. Even last year I did not think I would be able to adopt more children because of Anastasia's RAD and PTSD issues. But she's grown and matured in so many ways, and we both feel ready for another child to come into our lives.

Create A Healthier Body For Myself
I'm at least forty pounds overweight for my height and frame. I don't exercise enough. I drink too much coffee and too little water. I don't put enough nutrient rich food in my body. I'm 43. I can't keep going like this without jeopardizing my life. It's not fair to my daughter and future children.

Find A Kind-Hearted Man That Can Put Up With Me
I don't mean to brag, but I kinda used to have to fight off the men. However, that hasn't happened in almost a decade. I pretty much stopped dating about six or seven years ago. Why? You got me. I have no idea, but I'm sure it's tied into issues with body image and weight gain. Also, my priorities shifted. I really wanted children and the last two men I dated adamantly did NOT want children. I'm even uncomfortable writing about this, because it makes me feel so vulnerable! I won't be devastated if I never marry, but it would be nice to share this journey with a kindred spirit. He'd have to be a pretty special guy, with endless patience and a great sense of humor. He'd have to love kids at least as much as me, and he'd have to give me a wide berth. I mean, I love my freedom and independence.

Well, I think that's it. I don't want to get carried away. Those five things alone will keep me plenty busy. Let me know if you have any sage advice regarding any of them. I'm always open to the wisdom of those who have been there/done that!

Ok, it's almost 2am. I have got to get myself to bed!