I know that parents of older adopted children are wary to post too many negatives on chatboards, forums, etc, for fear of scaring pre-adoptive parents, but this is not fair or just. Even adoption magazines and other media shy away from the truth. I have submitted a few articles to adoptive magazines concerning RAD and the difficult first few months home with an older adopted child -- I was politely informed that my words weren't 'appropriate" for their venue. They were too "graphic" and if I could write a more "upbeat" piece on older child adoption, they would be more inclined to publish it.
Children coming from institutionalized care, however "ready" they may seem, are traumatized. Even if they did not experience the severe abuse and neglect my daughter did, they did not receive adequate care by any means. They are bringing with them a litany of fears, sorrows, challenges, concerns and significant needs that most parents are not equipped to deal with. Even the most prepared, experienced parents will experience a long adjustment period with an older IA child. If only every parent truly understood the potential issues they'd be facing, disruptions might be less prevalent.
Anyway, there is so much I want to say about this subject, but it's too much for one post. I just needed to vent a bit. Every time I read of another disruption, my heart aches. I want to find a way to do what I can to help prevent them. I've read of so many lately, it is making me feel a sense of urgency about finding a way to help. I know many of you feel the same way.