‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Friday, September 12, 2008

You Can Do It, You Can Do It...

OK, I'm going to do this. I'm going to start blogging again. Really. Truly. I think.
Anyway, I rediscovered this, my old blog, when I googled my grandmother's name. I had forgotten all about it (this blog, not my grandmother's name..) It was a happy little surprise to find it, and read what I had forgotten about, and see photos I lost track of. Anyway, I'm going to try to just free-write. Not think about it, just write. Because, well, that's how I used to journal, and I filled up twenty years worth of journals that way, and it served me well. Plus, I am a perfectionist when it comes to writing, so it will be a good, zen-like discipline for me to get in the habit of writing without editor-me hanging over my shoulder. Besides, I think it will also be the best way for me to get at the real me. No censorship, no re-do. Just me, as is.

So, to catch up, I'm still a mom and loving it despite the challenges of raising a child with RAD and PTSD (Reactive Attachment Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for clarification...) My sweetheart has started therapy finally and is doing remarkably well with it, considering her aversion to:
#1 meeting strangers
#2 conversing with strangers
#3 talking about her past, and
#4 sitting still for more than 15 minutes.
She has also started school again, part-time, and that has been a slow win. She is repeating 8th grade, and my hope is she will make it there every day, though that is an unreal expectation.

It's so hard to try to do what's best for her without the support of my family and certain friends. If they could only spend a day in her shoes. I hate the fact that some people think she is lazy for not going to school. Even my mom has misgivings about it, as hard as she might try to hide them from me. Thank God for the therapist and psychiatrist, and school social worker. They all see what she's up against and offer great support and insight. I need to learn to disregard the disssenting voices and still always do what is best for my daughter. There is nothing I can do or say that will help these other people understand. God knows my sweetheart daughter has learned far more in her year of homeschooling than she would have had I tried to get her in the school door each day. At least now she is going part time at her request. She wants it to work. She wants to fit in. God bless those who understand, or even try to understand what a mountain she has to climb every day.


  1. It's so hard for people to "get it." Glad I found your blog, and glad that you do have a support system - albeit, small! :)

  2. Yayayayayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    you're back.


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