Found ONE Reason To Be Happy About Going Home...

The trolley I take to work everyday.

....NEGATIVE 20 degrees celsius is physically painful. If it gets any colder than this I think I might just die.

Walking home from work was like being tortured. My eyes kept watering from the pain, which made them freeze shut, with the eyelashes acting like velcro. I completely blocked out forgot how cold it can get here.

Last January it got down to negative 24 celsius in Moscow and I now remember that day -- my whole body felt like it was in a vice.

How do people live like this for months on end?

 How???

Apt sculpture they just added to our street.

Yes, It's True - A Forever Family For D!

I was hoping to forego this post for awhile. I don't want to jinx what is in the works for D. But you amazing readers (and friends) are relentless in your pursuit of knowledge...lol....and if I have to answer one more private email, skype or chat message about D, I think my typing fingers might fall off.
Yes, as many of you read on my facebook page -- D is being adopted! The little girl who stole my heart and for whom I have prayed every single night and morning since March, will have a family ...a forever family!

And before you go feeling sorry for me -- don't. More than anything else in the world, I wanted D to have a family, and she does. Of course, of course I had hoped it would be me, but God has far better perspective than I, and He has blessed her with a mom and a Dad!

Obviously I won't be posting about the family. LeAnn of New Horizons very lovingly kept me in the loop, as I was worried that D would end up with a family that was not prepared for her particular needs. LeAnn assures me that this family is aware of D's issues and is still committed to her no matter what. I am so grateful to have been part of her journey I cannot express, and I celebrate her amazing news with prayers of gratitude to God.

Love never dies. D and Nastia and I will always have a bond, because of our love for one another. Her new family will have our prayers for decades to come. And though we may not be hosting her  next month or seeing her in the  future, God has given me a great peace that I will see D again some day -- if not in this life, then the next.

Thank you to all of you kind and loving friends who took the time to write and ask about her. I hope you will join with me in praying for her new family  -- and that her transition to them will be smooth and that she will delight them as much as she delighted us (I have no doubt....) I thank God for answering my prayers, and for making this one amazing, precious, big-hearted, funny, and infinitely wonderful little girl's dream come true. Amen!

Looking For Input

(My iphone always makes me orange...don't know why.)

I'm not kidding when I say I don't want to go home. I'm not even stretching the truth the tiniest bit. In fact, I'm so stressed about it that I had a near panic attack in the middle of the night last night. I managed to deflect it with deep breathing and prayer, but the knot in my stomach stayed.

Well-intentioned friends keep telling me I will be happy once I am home, but that's not really helping  (no offense.) I also know myself enough to know it's not true. I will be sad for a very long time, because I am leaving beind many, many children that I have grown to love very much. And I am leaving before I am ready. And I am leaving with a hundred million question marks still buzzing about in my head. And I am leaving D. And I am leaving a place where I know I a making a difference. And I'm happy here. Genuinely happy.

But for whatever reason, it is evident that by my daughter's clock, it is time to go. And so we go.

In a few days we will head to the orphanage for our big Thanksgiving Feast. It is building up to be quite the event -- many of my Shakespeare students are coming to help with set up (and translating) and Channel One Russia (the biggest of the big) is sending a crew to film us and do a national news story about it. We are going very early Friday morning, so that our Siberian Thanksgiving coincides with the U.S. one. The orphanage kids are already making decorations, and the staff is slowly purchasing all the goods. Nastia and I are cooking a turkey here and bringing it, as no turkeys could be found in Prokopyevsk. Svetlana, bless her heart, found one in Kemerovo and dropped it off at our house last night.

We will buy crates of fruit as well, since it is such a treat for the kids. I'm going to try to create a fruit tower on each table. After we all eat, we will share my family's tradition of going around the table and hearing from each person about what they are grateful for. Then pie! I can't find pumpkin anywhere, so we might be stuck with only apple. We'll see.

Anyway -- the input part: in the evening Svetlana and all my students will return to Kemerovo, the camera crew will leave, and I will have that evening and the entire next day to spend with the kids. I want to make my last day with them memorable, but I'm drawing a blank on how. I think I'm just so averse to leaving, that I'm having a mental block. So, help me. What are some ways I can end my time with them that will be memorable and helpful? How can I give D something to hold onto for the next several months? What would be my best use of time that last night and next day?

Please take a moment to comment if you have any ideas. Thank you.

Comic Relief (inspired by christie's post)

Christie is not only one of my favorite bloggers, but also one of the dearest people I know. When I was going through a 'dark night of the soul' a few years ago, she not only sent me a card and gifts in the mail, she also was sure to keep track of how I was doing. Her prayers and love really helped me through a dark time. Well, today I read one of the funniest posts she has ever written. You need to go read it yourself! And then come back here and read my attempt at Russian version of her post -- comic relief in Siberia.

Baaaad Keri

I actually thought how easy it might be to accidentally break my leg on the sidewalk  icewalk and have to stay here. I felt terribly guilty for thinking such a thing, but I just soooooo am not ready to go home. There is so much left to do here, and I am content. Very content and at peace living here, and I'm scared to go home and get sucked into the vortex that was my American life prior to coming here.

Of course I want to see the people I love.....and my animals....and Bill & Bob's Roast Beef on Bridge Street in Salem....but that's it. I don't miss one single thing else. Nothing. I have prayed and prayed and hoped and hoped that Nastia would find a way to be happy here, and I could just go home and pack up and move here permanently. But it hasn't happened, and it's imminent arrival is doubtful. To the degree to which I love it here, she has an equal degree of hate. Yes, hate. And so, as a mother, I must set aside my own desires in favor of what my child needs and wants. Such is life.

But there is good news! I am buying a computer camera for the orphanage and will set up skype for them before I leave! If I can just skype with them once a week, I think it will help my inevitable homesickness for Russia. Also, I will be busy completing the mountain of paperwork required for Daniel's adoption. If I can just keep my eye on bringing him home, I might just be ok.

And there is more good news! Tammy Cannon of Project 143 asked if I'd come back over here with her in February to work on our hosting program. You BET I will!

Yesterday and today,  my Shakespeare students expressed great sadness at my leaving two days earlier than they anticipated. Like me, they think this happened all too fast. I hate to say goodbye when I know I will never get the chance to spend such time with them again. They are amazing kids. Our show, by the way, is next Tuesday! I am going to do my best to record it on Nastia's flipvideo thingy.

so I'm heading out (brrrrrr....) to the grocery store which somehow feels MUCH farther away now the the temperature remains in the negative degrees. Seven blocks feels like seven hundred! But I will slip and slide my way there and back without ANY attempts at broken bones -- I promise.

Oops! Clarification!!!

My Friend BT and others are pointing their friends towards this blog to donate for the Thanksgiving FEAST! (Thank you!)

However, my paypal account is confusing everyone because it says  'Bring Anya Home Fund.'

NO WORRIES.

That is simply the name on the bank acct where the money goes so I can access it. 

NO MONEY IS GOING TOWARDS THE ANYA FUND AT PRESENT. not a dime.

ALL money is going towards the orphanage and whatever the person specifies in their note. If they simply send money with no specifications, it goes towards a whole host of things -- books, clothes, toys, food, and moat recently...

Our Thanksgiving Feast!

Hope this clarifies things. Sorry for the confusion. And sorry this is rushed and messing. I'm heading to my teaching job soon and don't want to be late!

Spare Change?

Making my final visit to the orphanage on Thanksgiving Day for two whole days of true thanksgiving. I'm planning a giant Thanksgiving dinner for all 100 children!

Although we cannot find turkey in Siberia (we tried), Nadezhda and I settled on looking for the largest roast chickens we can find. Nastia helped to make the menu which includes mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, apple pie with ice cream, and warm rolls with butter. We will also have bowls of fruit (as they never get it) and candy (another treat.)

If you want to give your spare change to this final hurrah, please do. I'm no fool. I know that everything, everything I am getting to do over here is only because of all the generous people who read my blog. And this feast is no different. I left them with some of the money earmarked for more boots...lol. A Thanksgiving dinner just seemed more important at that moment. (I know, I know...my ADD is surely showing.)

Well, whether you can contribute or not, it will happen. I do have an emergency credit card:) It would be a stretch to use it to buy Thanksgiving dinner for 100. But c'mon....sometimes a feast IS an emergency.

Here are some of the lovely pilgrims you'd be feeding:

Elena...

Anya and Sasha

Genya

Another Sasha!

Galya

If donating, just use the paypal button on the top of the blog, and put "Thanksgiving" in your message.