‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Thursday, September 01, 2011

The Unexpected Blessing of Pain

This will be brief, as it honestly hurts to sit. As many of you know, I was diagnosed with Reactive Arthritis a few years ago after getting salmonella poisoning. It was terrible the first year, but this year it's been relatively dormant. Two days ago I had the tell-tale sign that a flare-up was coming, but I ignored it, hoping it was my imagination. Well, it wasn't, and I woke up this morning almost unable to get out of bed.

Normally this would send me into a rage, as I HATE being limited in ANY way, and like to be very busy. But I honestly am looking at the silver lining this time. No rage, no resentment -- just rest. Rest is not something I tolerate very easily, but it's becoming more evident as I get older that I need to learn balance. I'm too busy too much of the time, and my body seems to be teaching me, against my will, to slow down and rest more often.

So I am. I have piles on my plate this week, but there is literally nothing I can do comfortably but lie in bed, read a bit and take aleve. So that's what I'm doing. I'll be back on with an update in a few days when the pain retreats. It usually only comes for 3-4 days, and on only two of those days do I find myself completely incapacitated.

As for Anya, we have still tried Skype every day and night with no luck. But we are all holding her up in prayer and still holding out hope that this tragedy mght be her ticket home, if even for awhile.

So many of you have offered help...thank you! To Beth -- I'd love to see you Sunday. See, I'm learning how to accept help! Still feels yucky, but I'm doing it!

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

And a HUGE thanks to the dozen of you readers who sent Anya a letter via my address! They are already on their way to Siberia!


  1. Rest well, my friend. Rest well.

    I was struck by something you said, though. It was something I needed to hear because it's a lesson I struggle with myself. You said you're learning to accept help...but that it feels yucky. I agree. Sometimes it does. What struck me, though, is this is EXACTLY what our hurt kids are fighting against. Most of them want help, and most of them know they need help and can't do it on their own. But, they fight against it because it feels so yucky. Just like it does to us, knowing we need it and we are dependent on other people to meet our needs leaves us feeling vulnerable, defeated, burdensome, scared, out of control, and just plain yucky. Ironically, when that help does arrive and our needs do get met, the emotions are just the opposite...profound gratitude and humility. So, get through the yuck and enjoy the rest.

  2. Keri, I just came across this blog and thought of you. Perhaps there is some comfort there; a balm for your weary heart. At the very least, she seems a kindred spirit.

  3. Take car of yourself, enjoy the rest...
    And if your ever have to go back to Helsinki, let me know, I know a few people that probably would not mind letting you stay in their house. And if not, then you can stay at our place, even if it is an hour away from Helsinki...

  4. Ack!!! I didn't get back to this site to get your message! there are just too many ways to communicate these days. Sorry I missed the invitation.

    Are you relaxing? Are you caring for yourself? Do you know you're loved? email, my sweet: beth1123@comcast.net drop me a line, when you have time.


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