‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

HOPE for the Hopeless

Oh how I would LOVE to share what I have learned this week with you. I can share some, but not the most important parts, because it will be used against me, which means also against the children of Detsky Dom #5. I will tell you that in speaking to some former caretakers, and kids who aged out but still visit - things there have deteriorated significantly. A certain disgusting Russian-American that I wish I could name has used her far-reaching hate of me to exact her revenge .... ON CHILDREN. Some of you know exactly who she is. Well, this woman we will call HATE used her power and influence as well as her connection to the Ministry of Education in Kemerovo to have Nadezhda, the former director fired. I learned this in October, but now I see the effects of it. The new Director the children call " an ogre". They are scared of her, and she insists that the new caretakers LOCK THE CHILDREN IN THEIR ROOMS all day. This info came not only from the children themselves, but from former caretakers I know who still live in the area and know the details. This New Director refused my request to visit. She lied to me, ad she lied to the children.

As to the person who is exactling her revenge: This same woman is the one who threatened me back in 2006 and told me that if I went to Kemerovo to meet Anya without her permission, she would " make sure" I would NEVER ever bring her home. Little did I know that her anger would reach  7 years into the future and affect my adoption of Daniel. Sound far-fetched? Journalist Kay Lazar of the Boston Globe was also threatened by this woman back in 06. I wish it were only us, but there are dozens of other families she has hurt over the years ( due to her greed for money and power). Since I was a small part of the reason she lost her livelihood, she is making sure she hurts me where it counts - through the children. Well, she will have to answer to God someday. I will never ever give up helping them. Right now I am already able to help those who have aged out. As you know, seven girls already receive monthly support, and one of the former caretakers told me this $50 per month has "saved their lives." She told me that they are able to attend school bc of this money. She begged me to help more of them, and, as you know, I WILL.  

I may not be able to visit the children and love them in person, but I am able to help them through a few trustworthy intermediaries. I was able to have someone give them the gifts I brought on this trip, and I have two other people who will be accepting packages on their behalf in the coming year. I was also able to pay for some of the older girls who aged out to come to Kemerovo and treat them to a day of shopping and eating! They had never been here before!
They cried when I bought them the bus ticket! Sadly I cant post their photos here, because they will be 'punished' for their contact with me, and I don't want that. I have so much I want to say right now, but the internet keeps cutting out and I've retyped this three times already. All I can say is, I am doing my best to remember that LOVE WINS. In the end, no hate or anger or evil can ever win. They may win small battles, but in the end, I am trusting that LOVE wins, and I am living my life accordingly. 

Pray for these children. Pray for the new caretakers who watch over them. Pray they don't lose hope as many have. So many suicides -- including poor Ksusha's boyfriend. Daniel has changed. His heart is walled up, but he sobbed when I told him I will never abandon him. I reminded him that once he ages out, they can do nothing to keep us apart. Pray he stays strong till then.

I spent all day yesterday grieving, but the prayers of so many wonderful people have me feeling hope again. Someday we will all live in a world void of deceit, greed and hate. I truly believe that. But for now, when so many people choose darkness over light, we need to give all we can to scatter the darkness with Love. Thank you for your prayers. They have made all the difference. Anya is doing better, and I know I've done all I can while here to show that Love is the most powerful force of all. Grateful to God for allowing me the chance to spread hope among the hopeless. May it stick.


  1. Keri, that is so very sad!

  2. Keri thats all you can do..daniel knows you love him and as long as you can keep that bond when he ages out maybe then you can find a way to bring him anya and the new baby home to the u.s.a as for that person who has done this we all have judgement day and ma'am god will call apon you and ask why you have done this??I hope you have a good reason or things could get toasty for you..

  3. I hope there is a special place in hell for that witch, and the sooner she gets there the better.

  4. keri you need some cheering up maybe you should host an online baby shower??we could send you gift cards and knitted items??and you can post pics and show anya how much others adore her and her litle baby..

  5. madness and sadness

  6. Thank you for the update. Evil will reign on this earth and I am sorry that this person continues to do you and the ones you love harm. There will be a Judgement day for her, rest in that knowledge. Tell me how I can help sponsor one of the aged out girls. Safe travels. Cathy

  7. Heart4Russia11:55 PM

    I know whom you are speaking of, and I know far too many wonderful families she has lied to and hurt. But now she cannot work in adoption anymore, so it is said. I hope this is true! Kerri, you are such an inspiration to me. Some of those girls owe their very lives to you. Your continued care of them means saved lives. I am so glad you never let the naysayers get you down for long. Too many people talk the talk but dont walk the walk. You are living proof that our God still cares. He shows His Heart to these girls through you.

  8. Anonymous6:02 AM

    That is awful. Honestly you should make a report and send it to a newspaper in Moscow. If it makes the news Moscow will do something at least about the new director and the kids being locked in their rooms. They don't want things like this to go public, and when they do they clean them up quickly. I would get a news crew involved (a Russian news crew). This should not be allowed to continue. The corruption involved in some agencies is just awful.

  9. Anonymous3:31 PM

    Praying for your whole extended family.

  10. This story is horrible. But it happened to my agency. When they decided to stop charging certain fees and wanted to change how things worked on the Russian side, the Russian "contact" proceeded to get their certificate yanked. He was an evil man.
    I would love to help one of the girlz. Take lots of pics so we can match a face to a name and such..
    Wishing you luck, and patience!!!!


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