When I was 'paper' pregnant with Nastia, I honestly thought I was going crazy. My compulsion to clean and organize the house was not even borderline obsessive, it was obsessive! One friend worried I had developed OCD. I would stay up till four and sometimes even five o'clock in the morning getting a closet 'just right.' I would get up at 3am after a few fitful hours of sleep to organize my pantry can by can - labels all facing the same way, taller ones towards the back, smaller ones to the front. I would wash Nastia's new bed linens over and over. I would iron her pillowcases, I would dust her never used bureau, I would vacuum her immaculate new braided rug. I was a cleaning virtuoso.
Well, it's that time again, I guess. There really is no rhyme or reason to it, but somewhere in my crazy little brain, it seems to have dawned on me that I have a son coming home in a few months. In some dark corner of my subconscious, a light has gone on and the machinery of motherhood has started, and I am helpless to stop it!
Today, I went through work files and boxes and threw away about 3 recycling bins full of papers -- old posters and programs, student health forms, outdated scripts, obsolete resumes, dusty laundry lists of props and sound cues. I purged them all. Now, my son-to-be would never have any reason to see these files, but my mind doesn't differentiate -- it all has to go. Some really neurotic part of me seems convinced that every extraneous paper, gadget, book and toy must be purged. The nest must be ready! And so I soldier on -- against my own conscious will -- to fight the 'battle of the stuff'.
And in a typically co-dependent fashion, my girl has caught this craziness too. She has filled three large boxes for the homeless shelter in three days. She is weeding out unloved clothing, unwanted dvds, and unneeded stuffed animals to make way for...what? Her brother?
Well, D will come home to a very clean and clutter-free home. His room is the only thing left to really organize...and it sits chockful of orphanage donations at present. We'll have to tackle his room after we make our first trip. And just a few weeks after he arrives, the house will, in all likelihood, get that lived-in look again. I look forward to that.