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| My favorite photo of Nastia this summer. |
Worry One: I have been unable to reach anyone at the orphanage for close to three weeks. This is very upsetting and worrisome to me. i was speaking to D almost every other day, and now he has not heard from me in weeks. I wonder if he's worried or feels forgotten. I have called, I have emailed, I have called the few teens there who have phones, I have emailed the Director privately. The calls go unanswered,the emails garner no response, the teens' phones have a message saying "out of funds" and the director herself has not responded to my personal emails. now, in all likelihood she is on her annual vacation, but it is still hard to not know how everyone is doing there. I go on google earth and look at the building and pray for them. Hope they feel it.
Worry Two: I have been unable to get the payment owed me by two different schools and so I have had to put my homestudy on hold until I can pay for it. i'm plugging away at other dossier documents ( for D's Adoption) but the late start on my homestudy is slowing everything else down and making me scared and sad.
for one school, I am going to have to probably go to court to get the $2500 they owe me. I don't like that. generally when people or schools don't pay me, I try for a year and then give up. But this is such a large amount, It's not right to let it go. But I'm scared to go after it. I wish they'd just do the right thing...
Worry Three: I am starting to realize that many of Nastia's learning disabilities are holding her back more than expected. We homeschool, so I don't notice them as much because we work at her grade level, which is several years behind her peers. But she is in Driver's Ed. now and struggling to understand and keep up. No matter how much we work on it, her spelling never improves. Because of her nystagmus, she is still reading very slowly and it is difficult for her to copy notes from the board in her current class. She is feeling so down on herself and keeps calling herself 'stupid', because the other kids seem to 'get it' in class, and she is lost. One of the primary reasons we homeschooled ( aside from the fact that she was acting out at school) is that I hated hearing my daughter say she was 'stupid' all the time. At home, I can move at her pace and help her feel successful. She loves the Driver's Ed class and the teacher, but she is seeing how hard it is for her to follow, and it makes her sad. It is bringing up all the dormant worries I have about her future. She is SUCH a great girl, so full of love and so very curious about the world, but she is way behind her peers and always will be. I'm sad for her right now.
Well that's enough whining for now. There are a good many more worries keeping house in my head, but I'm not ready to share them all with the world. But I do feel better letting these three out!
I hand them all over to God, who is bigger than any of them. May He use all of them for good and help me see the light in them, too.
May all of your concerns be resolved soon!!! (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteKeri-
ReplyDeleteIf you don't have Adoration at your parish, go to the Tabernacle and sit in front of it. Jesus waits there for you. Give Him all your troubles, all you've written here. You will be amazed at how the weight will be lifted.
I will pray for you, all those things are hard, hard, trying things.
I really hope you hear from someone there at the orphanage. Too bad you don't know someone not in the orphanage but close by that could "check" in on them.
With God and Jamie Jo in your corner I would say your worries should be over. Quite a combination. Hang in there my friend.
ReplyDeleteOdie :)
I have a friend whose Russian daughter has a lot of learning disabilities...sounds similar to Nastia. I have to applaud your choice to teach her at home. Katya couldn't possibly have learned more than Nastia is learning - except to consider herself "stupid" and to relegate herself to hanging out with "troubled" kids. She has graduated now, and is doing better away from that unfortunate peer group (but the only group, given her "placement", that she had much access to). She is working for an agency that cleans office buildings and gyms, etc. She's making pretty good money, has insurance and is living at home. I can see her being more confident every time I see her - now she doesn't have her weaknesses shoved down her throat every day.
ReplyDeleteI saw this & thought of you immediately!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1hma4R/tirnasaor.com/video/we-could-all-learn-something
I can so relate to the learning disabilities. Christina would never survive in a "normal" English class. Her verbal abilities are good now, but her written English is very very poor. I worry a great deal about her future sometimes. She can't get a job like most teenagers because she can't count money well enough to work a cash register. I think it will be a LONG time before she is able to drive. Aside from dangerous aspects of her behind a wheel, she has such a hard time with directions she would get lost all the time. It is so frustrating to think how much more we could have helped her if we had gotten her when she was little, but even more frustrating to consider WHY she has those troubles. I just can't comprehend how a woman can have so little love for the child within her as to abuse it with alcohol before the child is even born.
ReplyDeletePlease keep up posted on the situation with contacting DD#5, and I will pray for the funds and the rest of the adoption process to roll more smoothly.
I can so relate to the learning disabilities. Christina would never survive in a "normal" English class. Her verbal abilities are good now, but her written English is very very poor. I worry a great deal about her future sometimes. She can't get a job like most teenagers because she can't count money well enough to work a cash register. I think it will be a LONG time before she is able to drive. Aside from dangerous aspects of her behind a wheel, she has such a hard time with directions she would get lost all the time. It is so frustrating to think how much more we could have helped her if we had gotten her when she was little, but even more frustrating to consider WHY she has those troubles. I just can't comprehend how a woman can have so little love for the child within her as to abuse it with alcohol before the child is even born.
ReplyDelete