‘What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men …… That is what love looks like.’ - St. Augustine

Tuesday, August 04, 2015

'She's limed, I warrant you.' ~ Shakespeare

I have been remiss. I stopped writing. Well, I stopped a great many other things, too. When you are in pain every day, and when even your own brain won't work with you, it's hard to do much of anything.

But I'm back. A shadow of my former self, but still a soul wanting to connect with the world and share her story.  This won't be the same blog anymore. In fact, I'm pretty sure all my former readers have up and moved away months ago. I can't imagine many will want to read what I have to write for the next few months, but I need to say it - regardless of recipients on the other end. If i'm going to survive this disease, I need to WRITE. Writing has always been my solace, but I stopped doing it because I was ashamed of how damaged my brain was. I didnt want to sound stupid or senile. Well, I honestly don't give a crap anymore - so I am writing for whomever out there decides to listen.

I have Lyme Disease.

Those words might not adequately explain for you the trainwreck that I experience every day, but ah well. I have had Lyme Disease for several years, most likely. But it has progressed to a point where some days I cannot walk, nevermind drive. Some days I cannot find my way from one room to another. I am a SHELL of who I was. Am I angry? Sad? Rageful? Guilt-ridden? Horrified? Lost? Yes, ALL of these.

I have so much to say about this disease and the havoc it has wreaked on my body and my brain, and my family, but it will take time to share it all. Even know, though I want to write, my hand is seizing and making it difficult to type. I think this is all I can type for today - but I will be back.

PS: With this disease comes horrible cognitive disfunction. I could waste my time spell-checking, but I'm not going to. There may be many typos and missed words to come, but it is not a reflection on my innate intelligence - it is a reflection of the damn disease that has ravaged my brain. Please be understanding, and kind.


  1. Over the years I've been reading this blog, I have really grown to love your authenticity and huge heart. I love how you put your faith into action, and how you so purposefully love others, and try to make the world a better and brighter place. I am so sorry for the pain and suffering you are going through, and never realized what Lyme disease was really like until you started sharing articles on facebook. I am praying that God will use even this for His good purposes, and that He will strengthen and heal you.



  2. Wow, I'm really sorry. I live in upstate NY and know quite a few people with Lyme. It's a brutal disease. I will pray for you.

  3. Always here for you .

    My brain is ravaged too, by a loss of oxygen. It doesn't make anything less beautiful or loving or profound.

  4. I have followed your blog so long and am SO sorry to hear this!!!! Is there somewhere I can PM or email you? dawn.z.69@gmail.com

  5. I'm so glad to see you're back! I am so very sorry you are suffering, but wanted to let you know that I ill ALWAYS read your writing! I've missed this blog! I will keep you and your family close to my heart...

  6. still here. so glad you're back. so sorry to hear about this latest trial!

    praying for you and your family.

  7. I lost your log when you went private and refound it today. I am so terribly sorry to hear about the disease that you have got!


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