But I'm back. A shadow of my former self, but still a soul wanting to connect with the world and share her story. This won't be the same blog anymore. In fact, I'm pretty sure all my former readers have up and moved away months ago. I can't imagine many will want to read what I have to write for the next few months, but I need to say it - regardless of recipients on the other end. If i'm going to survive this disease, I need to WRITE. Writing has always been my solace, but I stopped doing it because I was ashamed of how damaged my brain was. I didnt want to sound stupid or senile. Well, I honestly don't give a crap anymore - so I am writing for whomever out there decides to listen.
I have Lyme Disease.
Those words might not adequately explain for you the trainwreck that I experience every day, but ah well. I have had Lyme Disease for several years, most likely. But it has progressed to a point where some days I cannot walk, nevermind drive. Some days I cannot find my way from one room to another. I am a SHELL of who I was. Am I angry? Sad? Rageful? Guilt-ridden? Horrified? Lost? Yes, ALL of these.
I have so much to say about this disease and the havoc it has wreaked on my body and my brain, and my family, but it will take time to share it all. Even know, though I want to write, my hand is seizing and making it difficult to type. I think this is all I can type for today - but I will be back.
PS: With this disease comes horrible cognitive disfunction. I could waste my time spell-checking, but I'm not going to. There may be many typos and missed words to come, but it is not a reflection on my innate intelligence - it is a reflection of the damn disease that has ravaged my brain. Please be understanding, and kind.