So Much To Be Thankful For

Left is Nastia's referral photo. Right is D this week. I see a resemblance:)

I know I am way overdue for an update. I just haven't felt like posting with all the ups and downs in Russia this past month. But today I've just been feeling so grateful - despite the bad news. We have been hosting D for two weeks now. Its been a great experience, even with all the infighting between she and Nastia. Its been a great learning experience for all three of us and D is a very special girl. She is smart as a whip, funny, brave, willing to try new things. She is incredibly athletic, loves the outdoors, loves dress-up and dolls and bedtime stories - but loves games and legos and building with blocks just as much. She is an interesting mix of girly-girl and tomboy. She is fiercely independent and strong-willed, but luckily I have experience with that:)

D with Matilda

Everyone who meets her falls in love with her, much to Nastia's dismay, but we are working on this. At church yesterday, Nastia confessed that she spent the whole time asking God to help her with her 'jealousy issues.' And she's trying so hard. More than half the time they are really enjoying each other, but when they do clash - watch out! Neither one will back down and it takes mom intervention to help them both see how to compromise.

My mom is visiting this week too, which is really really wonderful. Its so nice to have family here. She gets a kick out of both girls and has been spending time just hanging out with us, which  is so welcome. We had a huge Christmas Party here last night and it was so packed that we literally had no room to move! It was shoulder to shoulder and lots of fun, but I did wish that I could expand my tiny house for just one night a year! I got to see friends and students from long ago, as well as most of my current ones. Nastia had some friends in attendance and she actually stayed out in the party nearly the entire time - huge change for her! D had a blast and entertained everyone with her antics. A few stayed till after 1am and we had a great, long talk about Christmas, the meaning of it all, how swift time is moving and what we can do to slow it down and savor the moments.

As for the Russian Adoption ban, I can't say much right now because its a little too raw. I cant go there in my head and heart yet. A journalist friend in Russia is doing a piece on me and Daniel for a national magazine. A few others have been in touch about covering our specific story. In the meantime, my chiefest concern is for Daniel's welfare. Suicide is rampant in their part of the world. Just last year Daniel found one of the other orphanage kids dead - he had hanged himself. I am terrified that when he hears of the situation with adoption, he may feel its over for him. I've sent a message to him thru several people I know in Prokopyevsk. They have promised to see him in person soon and let him know I am never ever giving up and that I will be his mom no matter what - even if that means being his mom the way I am Anya's mom. As my brother Dan wrote me " You can still always make a difference in his life."

I'm going to try.

Right now I need to head upstairs as D and Nastia are waiting for me to play a game with them. Then we'll open an early present and go to midnight mass with my mom. There is so much to be grateful for. Just focus on the good and trust in the goodness of others. It's there, even when it looks dark.