How apropos I'm directing Macbeth this month. Because, I get it...I get how Macbeth feels in that speech. I wish I didn't, but I do. I get it. Some days it really does feels that bad . For those who aren't familiar with the speech, it comes at the end of the play, and is a perfect study in of hopelessness. Here it is...
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,
creeps in this petty pace from day to day
to the last syllable of recorded time;
and all our yesterdays have lighted fools
the way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle;
life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
who struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
and then is heard no more; it is a tale,
told by an idiot, full of sound of fury,
signifying nothing.
I can't help commiserating with Macbeth on this -- this week anyway. Chesky & Miriam losing their best friend Pete to suicide, Susan quickly losing her battle with cancer, and the Petit family. God be with the Petit family in Connecticut, their girls being raped and tortured by those two evil monsters . Sometimes I really don't want to try anymore. I feel like throwing my hands up and saying 'ok, bad guys, you win.' But I'm tired, and stressed and overwhelmed, so it's easy to sink into that space. But, dammit, I am sick about that family.
creeps in this petty pace from day to day
to the last syllable of recorded time;
and all our yesterdays have lighted fools
the way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle;
life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
who struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
and then is heard no more; it is a tale,
told by an idiot, full of sound of fury,
signifying nothing.
I can't help commiserating with Macbeth on this -- this week anyway. Chesky & Miriam losing their best friend Pete to suicide, Susan quickly losing her battle with cancer, and the Petit family. God be with the Petit family in Connecticut, their girls being raped and tortured by those two evil monsters . Sometimes I really don't want to try anymore. I feel like throwing my hands up and saying 'ok, bad guys, you win.' But I'm tired, and stressed and overwhelmed, so it's easy to sink into that space. But, dammit, I am sick about that family.
I keep replaying what happened to them in my mind, and just the thought of it propelled me to the bathroom last night to throw up. Not from sickness...from pure disgust and the deepest sadness. I cried about those girls all night long. Why did it hit me so hard? Maybe its because I now have a daughter? I don't know, but I could not get them out of my heart. I'm praying for them. That's all I can do. I'm praying for their Dad, and though I cannot fathom how he will live through this, I ask God to keep his heart beating. Let him find a way to walk this life. Is it possible? God, please hear my prayer.
