Matilda has adjusted beautifully. It's a joy to watch her learn to be a part of a family, to accept being loved and to settle in to her new role as a beloved 'forever' daughter. I hadn't anticipated it being this easy of a transition. Not to say there aren't moments of hurt or trauma rearing its ugly head - of course there are; older child adoption is not easy - especially when there is a significant history of trauma and neglect. But, on the whole, she is adjusting to family life far more quickly and easily than Nastia did.
The photo above is of her in a play she recently appeared in. She played 'a beautiful milkmaid', and she loved it. I think her favorite part may have been just the chance to wear make-up...but either way, she had a wonderful time.
In the fall she will start third grade and so we have started the preparations - cleaning out closets, sifting through clothes to see what still fits, organizing her room, making lists of school supplies to purchase. It's been a great time of bonding. Nastia is currently in Russia with her sister, and I had the week off from work, so it's been a nice break from the crazy-busy summer Shakespeare schedule!
The two of us fly to Latvia next week to complete the immigration requirements of her adoption. Her biggest fear is whether she'll have to get any more booster shots while there. My biggest concern is fitting in all that we have to do while there. Aside from all the appointments that are part of the immigration requirements, we also want to spend time with her foster family, her biological sister who will be in Riga that week, AND time with her little brother Tom and his new family. It's alot to cover in 7 days.
The other night as we fell asleep, Matilda counted all her family members. It was a long process and we both marvelled at our incredible luck at having such a huge, international family now. She counted 5 mothers and an inconceivable amount of siblings. She of course considers Anya and all of Nastia's 16 other siblings hers, plus her little brother's new siblings, her bio sisters in England, her bio sister's new little half-sister, and anyone else she could find related to her by marriage or adoption. It was very sweet. And we are so fortunate that most of these families feel the same way - even Tom's new family sees us as extended family, and we gladly accept the role:)
I'm currently living proof that joy isn't tied to a bank balance. But the tight budget is temporary - it's probably only two years or so to recover from the cost of the adoption . Nastia also received so many scholarships for college that I gratefully only have to pay about $2500 this year. (And thankfully, I can pay monthly!) She even gets to live on campus in a dorm - her dream! Matilda will be at the elementary school directly behind our house - a 2 minute walk, at best. And I'll be back at work in the schools starting in early October.
Thank you to all the people who have loved and cared for us these many years - Christian friends who prayed, Catholic friends who said so many rosaries, Buddhist friends who chanted, Hindu friends who did Puja, Wiccans who lit candles, T.M. friends who meditated, and all kinds of other friends who thought of us, held us up, sent us words of encouragement, walked us through hard times. It feels like Matilda is the final piece of a puzzle I have longed to complete for a decade or more. We can now focus on the normal things families focus on, and also work on getting Anya home and being one big happy family under one roof.
I feel immense gratitude to have reached this time of celebration and peace in our lives, but I'm also grateful in the struggles, too. Each joy and hurt we experience is part of this incredible tapestry we weave in living this human life. Thank you for stitching it together with us!
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| Matilda's headshot for Love's Labour's Lost! |
