Let's Start A Revolution...

Still riding on the high of being with the children of orphanage #5. What an incredible group of kids. As I get to know the caretakers even better, I see how much they truly love and care for these kids, too. We chatted for hours and they truly truly do their best with these kids....some working hours they are not paid for, others using their own meagre funds to buy things they need. A great group of women over all.

If I may, I want to share the burden that is getting heavier on my heart -- the need for an adoption revolution. Friends, there are so so so many dear, sweet, magically wonderful children in this world who need familes. How can we get them into homes? how can we promote adoption when the media chooses time and time again to air only the rare tragic stories? There are thousands of happy adoption stories all over the world...mine is just one of them. We need these children to be seen for who they are, and not just faceless numbers listed on a website. People need to SEE these children, and connect with them.

I understand adoption is not for everyone, but for those of you who have considred it for years and not taken the plunge, can I gently urge you to take the leap? Is it hard? Yes. Is it frustrating to walk that road to reach them? Absolutely. Will you want to give up? Hell, yes.

But arent these little ones worth it? Take a look...

C....

G...

A...

J...

D...

A GREAT day at the Orphanage!

We left at 8am and arrived at the Prokopyevsk sign (below) at 11:15am...Nastia wanted a picture!

the books were a HUGE hit. In fact, no one wanted to do anything but read! ( or pretend to read...)

This is Kyrill reading to me, with Polina on my lap. A little slice of heaven.

Everywhere I turned, there were little ones with books!

This is Rosa. She was in the hospital when I came 2 weeks ago, so I'm glad I still had a few gifts left to give her! She is ten and desperate for a family....

And I did not forget about the caretakers! A generous donor allowed me to buy them a printer and a digital camera. You should have heard the screaming when I opened the bag to show them. I was kissed a hundred times by all these women...lol.

And the trip would not be complete without some one on one time with D. I learned more about him this trip...heartbreaking history. But the Director says he is the sweetest boy in the orphanage and it is her dream to see him adopted...

Random Photos of The Week

Finally got around to uploading photos from this week. Here is the River Tom, which runs right behind our apartment. We can get a glimpse of it out our kitchen window.

Here's a daily sight out in front of our building --  teenage kids practicing marching. It is an every day event, all day on the weekends. Not sure why they have to practice marching so much....

I took these as a good sign when we moved in -- hollyhocks growing in front of our apartment..hundreds of them. If you don't know about Holly, do a search of my blog. It is Nastia's middle name, and Holly was a big part of why I finally adopted. I love that these grow within sight of my bedroom window...

Here are some of the many books I was able to but this week! Thank you donors! Especially "Sprocket" and Mary C-K , old friends from Manchester who made big donations that covered many many books!

And the promised photo for anonymous who sent funds for DVDs for the non-bookish kids....

Finding non-pirated dvds in Siberia is like trying to find skis in Florida....nearly impossible. but my hunting paid off! These are all legal dvds, and a pretty good selection if I do say so myself. This stash took 2 weeks of hunting! And yes, the orphanage has a dvd player. I bought it on one of my last trips...

So there you have it. I also bought them a digital camera, at the director's request, so they may take photos of the children on a regular basis. I am helping them to create a small album for each child!

Heading to the orphanage in 6 hours, so I better get some sleep. I'll be back posting on Thursday with, hopefully, lots of happy photos of deliriously happy kids!

Thank you to all you amazingly generous people. I so wish you could see their delight in person! 

Another Day of Red Tape, Bootless Prayers and Russian Bullying

I don't think I even have the mental energy to type out what our day was like today. A simple list might be easier:

# of government authorities we met with in person today: 16.
# of government workers who basically told us they couldn't help us: 15
# of buildings I entered today: 11.
# of buildings that I wish to never enter again: 11.
# of times I was told to sign something I did not understand:3
# of times Nastia had to sign something she did not understand: about 7
# of hours we spent waiting in line at all places combined: about 7.5
# of useless extra forms they requested of us throughout the day: infinity.
# of people that needed $$ from me: 5 or 6
# of squat toilets without paper we were forced to use: 4
# of people who smiled at us today: 0
# of people who yelled at at least one of us today: too many to count.

Everytime we thought we had all the paperwork they required, we would be told about yet another one we needed and then were sent on a wild goose chase all over the city to get it. At one point, we thought we were done and suddenly they decided they wanted a notarized letter in Nastia's handwriting and signature that stated she, as a Russian Citizen, approved of my being her mother and taking her out of the country to America. (What???)

Now the landlord is pissed at me because I couldn't let him in for the third night in a row to try to set up wireless. ( Would you like your evening to be dictated by someone fiddling with your computer for 4 hours at a time?) Sorry I'm so bitter. its been one hell of a day again, and my prayers seem to be met with silence. I'm just spent and don't know how to dig myself out of this ever deepening hole.

The next problem is that I MUST leave the country on October 13th. I MUST go to a neighboring country and get a new visa. Problems with this?
1. the cost.
2. I can't in good conscience leave Anya here, nevermind Nastia..so even higher cost
3. closest country is Ukraine and it involves a flight to Moscow and then on to Kiev...costly.
4.I have no way of knowing if the Russian Consulate there will even grant me a visa.
5. If they will grant it, I have no idea how long it will take.
6. They will only grant me a month-long visa and this is not long enough for the time I need to wait for Nastia's travel passport. So why even bother???

We tried to secure me an invitation from Svetlana so I can get a 90 day visa, but the local office that takes care of this is giving us the cold shoulder and says they cannot get it for us until Oct 23rd. But I have to leave by the 13th. And Nastia cant leave until 2 months from now.And Anya? God knows how long Anya is stuck here.

Can you say " INSANITY"????


As Shakespeare says " If this were played upon a stage now,  I would condemn it as an improbable fiction."

Saint Petersburg Here We Come?

Thank you so much for all your comments, thoughts, and questions posted on the last few blog entries. I want to respond to all of them, and will in time, I'm just busy with the Bureaucracy game for a few days. When the winner is announced ( attempt at humor) then I'll have time to respond! I have five minutes right now before I have to head out the door again with Nastia and Svetlana and face the angry masses of government workers masquerading as humans.

New drama -- looks like I MUST leave the country on October 13th for a few days at least. I do not trust the woman who said " oh, if you overstay your visa you can just pay a fine!" Well, not according to the countless poor souls who posted of their experience in overstaying a Russian Visa on the internet! All I can say is: SCARY.

 So, I am going to call my friend Alex in St Petersburg and see if he can help me over one of the border crossings near there. I'm hoping Nastia can stay with him, so I'll feel closer to her, and Anya can stay with Svetlana for 2 nights.

Anyway, thoughts and ideas are welcome. Where should I cross over? Which country will have the friendliest Russian Consulate? Anyone have any Consulate connections in Latvia or Lithuania?

Talk to you soon!

Bureaucracy is An Art form Over Here

So, first off -- Anya returned. Although she is unhappy and not talking, at least I know she is safe.

Today Nastia, Svetlana and I spent no less than 7 hours playing the Russian bureaucracy game. Ever tried it? It's incredibly all-consuming. You start by going to one building with a hundred forms and signed papers in hand, and they see how many other buildings and directors and passport agents they can send you to before  you scream "UNCLE!"  Today, the winner was.....RUSSIA again.

We went to the passport office and were there when it opened. Nastia signed a million papers for her "local passport" that miraculously appeared after the national news broadcast. As we go to leave --aha, they have something else up their sleeve! They do not like Nastia's signature! She must sign everything AGAIN!

Then we are off to the "home registration office" which is 40  minutes away by tram, and in a scary little building guarded by giant mud puddles and an angry dog. Svetlana warns us that the people here can be horribly rude. We prepare ourselves. We enter a tiny little room with deep squares in the wall where someone slides a piece of wood to the side to help you. ( Here is where a camera would have come in handy.) When we walk in , there are already no less than three people being yelled at nose to nose by three very unhappy government workers. I spend my time there praying for the toothless elderly woman in a threadbare coat and careworn face. When she finishes at her "square" she looks me straight in the eye and gives me a big toothless grin " Ah, such is life...they cannot help me once again!" she says and laughs her way out of the building. I'm sure her positive attitude is the only reason she has lived this long in this sorry place.

So, finally, it is Svetlana's turn to be yelled at. They cannot possibly help her either, she is told. But they play the game of taking an hour to say this, and have Svetlana fill out a few forms first, and then reject then, and THEN send us on our way. Now we must make our way to the head Police Station in Kemerovo, according to this government worker. " Only they can possibly help you, but I doubt it.." we are told.

Back on the tram for another 40 minute ride, and three changes, while standing out in below freezing weather....We walk a few blocks to what looks like Alcatraz....nope. It is the Police Station. We open the door we are sent to, and Svelana is yelled at and told to wait out in the hall. We wait and wait. Finally, we are yelled at to come in. " Well? What do you want?" the rudest woman in all of Russia barks at her. I'm thinking this woman is an addict of some sort because her hands are shaking and her eyes are red and she looks terrified and enraged at once. I want to take her picture so badly.

Svetlana explains everything and -- surprise surprise! -- we are told we cannot be helped again. A yelling match ensues with sweet little Svetlana getting louder and louder and the meanest woman in Russia trying to match her in tone, and Nastia yelling over both of them in Russian "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" and  "THIS IS RIDICULOUS!"  and "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"  I just got very zen and enjoyed the whole insane spectacle as best I could. Finally -- TADA! --Russia wins again and we leave without help, and are sent to yet another building.

So, our day went on like this until, out of sheer exhaustion, we gave up. At this point, we are being told that there is NO WAY for Nastia to get a new Russian international passport, UNLESS, Svetlana flies to Holland and gets her older daughter to sign a piece of paper allowing Nastia to be 'registered" at her apartment. Can you believe this? So, tomorrow Svetlana is going to get up her courage and call the Governor of Kemerovo. He called Anya in January and said he would help in any way he can.  Well, we need his help now. Lets hope he's still in a generous mood!

My fingers are tired, so I'll tell you about the rest of our day later tonight. Right now I want to go watch mindless Russian television and eat nutella.

Sorry for the Silence

Sorry to those of you who hae expressed concern that I haven't written in a few days. Anya took off Friday night and has not been back since. I didn't want to blog about it only because I was so sad. If she had said she needed some time, I'd understand, but she didn't. Not only that, but she did something I had made her swear she would never do -- she left her sister alone.

I had given them permission to go visit a third cousin in their old village, as long as they would be back by midnight. I called on the hour to check on them. At 11pm I told Nastia they should begin heading home. Well, the buzzer rang here at our building on time, but when I opened the front door, there was only Nastia. Anya had refused to come back and had sent Nastia on a 10 mile car ride at midnight with 2 people she did not even know. To say I was furious is the understatement of the century. I tried to reach Anya by phone, but she had turned it off. Now when I call, it says there are no funds on the phone.

I managed to reach Katya's cellphone voicemail and, though Anya is not with her, I trust she will get the message to Anya as she is in the same village. My message stated that she, Anya, was not acting like a loving daughter, I stated that I loved her but was very angry and sad. That she needed to contact me immediately, and that her sister was in tears. ( Anya has a tender heart, so I know that hearing of her sister's tears was important.)

I also told her that she once again made a promise to me and broke it, and that I have never broken a promise to her. I reminded her that she gets outraged when her friends tell her one thing but do not do what they said they would. She was acting just like them.

So, I've had a weekend of tears -- mine and Nastia's -- I won't lie. I feel spent, sad, alone, and lost. I'm sure many people don't even want to come and read these posts because I sound like a broken record. I've never been so lost and confused in my life. I pray and pray and pray. I cry and cry and cry. I do all the things that need to be done and more. God please hear my request! If I haven't been loud enough or fervent enough or relentless enough, here it is again, in writing, for the world to hear:


I WANT BOTH MY DAUGHTERS and myself SAFE UNDER ONE ROOF IN MASSACHUSETTS. I WANT THIS NOW..NOT ANOTHER 5 YEARS FROM NOW. But NOW!

I'll blog again when I have anything worth reading to put here. for now, it's all the same: praying and deep sadness. I don't want to blog about that anymore...