tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29308661.post8764258949558874862..comments2023-05-14T08:06:41.594-05:00Comments on Creating My Own Little Nirvana: 'Dark Night' Aftermath ReportKerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04886116438383281567noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29308661.post-2415449198800723052009-01-23T12:23:00.000-05:002009-01-23T12:23:00.000-05:00Nightmares are a normal manifestation when trying ...Nightmares are a normal manifestation when trying to come to terms with the emotional response to trauma. There are some techniques that might help your daughter with the negative self-talk however. I know because I am learning them myself (I am a woman approaching 60). I will share these with you in case you think they might help. First, she needs to name the negative talker so that over time, she learns that it is NOT HER. I call mine "the judge." Then, you can help her acquire ammunition with which to talk back. You might give her some written lists - "My mom loves me because..." "I am a good person because..." "my friends love me because..." "My siblings love me because...." When the negative thoughts start coming, she can stand up, put her hand out and say "stop Judge" (or whatever name has meaning to her) and start to read the lists out loud. Maybe you could put your painted flag approach to use and put some affirmations in her room. Anyway, you get the idea. Also, letting her talk it out is excellent - I have an adopted niece who experienced early sexual abuse, and her counselors have advised us all to let her talk it out in whatever way she needs to, and to avoid reacting with emotional shock or judgment (even though I want to kill the @#$*% every time I hear it!) Anastasia has a wonderful mother - best of luck to you both.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29308661.post-34351118419280510322009-01-20T21:43:00.000-05:002009-01-20T21:43:00.000-05:00My heart is breaking for Anastasia...and for you. ...My heart is breaking for Anastasia...and for you. Its so difficult helping our kids rebuild their lives, but I want you to know you're doing a great job. Anastasia has come so far in her journey...you're helping her heal, one breakdown at a time.<BR/>We're praying for both of you today...for strength and wisdom. ((hugs))Tamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06381915866366125201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29308661.post-58348788776188818982009-01-19T09:30:00.000-05:002009-01-19T09:30:00.000-05:00Oh Keri...I think all your instincts about her dre...Oh Keri...I think all your instincts about her dream are correct, and I too wish I had that magic wand...sending you both blog hugs and prayers...matryoshkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04159644735944561441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29308661.post-86296662620193266102009-01-18T20:56:00.000-05:002009-01-18T20:56:00.000-05:00I pray things improve each day for Anastasia. I k...I pray things improve each day for Anastasia. I know nothing about dreams, but I know you will do your best to comfort her and help her.Hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15749377046524745581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29308661.post-89401136846324391012009-01-18T17:27:00.000-05:002009-01-18T17:27:00.000-05:00Keri,I hope you and A are doing well today, and I ...Keri,<BR/><BR/>I hope you and A are doing well today, and I hope that each January will get a little better for Anastasia..<BR/><BR/>JenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29308661.post-64207208795801399532009-01-18T16:33:00.000-05:002009-01-18T16:33:00.000-05:00Hey, your poor daughter's dream sounds absolutely ...Hey, your poor daughter's dream sounds absolutely horrible! I have a book called 21st Century Goddess. And it has a section on dreams and understanding them. Hope this can help. <BR/>for Rape it says: Rape is a deeply personal violation. Dreaming of it suggests that you may be feeling robbed of choices or negated as a human being. In a dream, rape has very little to do with sex. It is about power, control, and anger. If you are a rape victim, the traumatic nature of this experience may cause you to have a dream like this from time to time as a way of helping you process the experience. <BR/>for House (You said that your daughter dreamed in being in a building of sorts) it says:<BR/>Houses usually symbolize our emotional and psychological selves. All of your experiences, stages of development, and parts of your conscious and unconscious life may be represented by a house in a dream. <BR/>~so, I dunno if that may further help you understand and interprete your daughters dream, but I hope that helps!! :)<BR/> Wishing you and your daughter the best, <BR/>RealGoddessGirl.hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10402377865857589655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29308661.post-37879250062153097392009-01-18T01:02:00.000-05:002009-01-18T01:02:00.000-05:00I certainly am no dream analyst by any means nor d...I certainly am no dream analyst by any means nor do I have truly have any idea about the meaning behind her dream. I wish I did, and, of course, I wish I had a magic wand to make all of her pain go away. However, understanding a bit about PTSD myself, I do know that "anniversaries" can be and often are heart-wrenching times for survivors. Whether that repressed pain comes up in the form of flashbacks, nightmares, body memories, depression, anxiety, etc., sadly, it is often bound to take a toll on the person/people who deserve it least. I am so impressed with Anastasia's ability to process her dream and to explain to you what happened. While she did readily admit she was embarrassed, overcoming that embarrassment and shame and telling another human being (you, her mom), what happened is truly incredible! Like the above post mentioned, with you, there is hope! The pain your girl went through will likely never go away, but your comforting, compassionate, non-judgmental stance on her feelings and dreams will truly make all the difference in the world. I know...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29308661.post-39767949161538826542009-01-17T23:28:00.000-05:002009-01-17T23:28:00.000-05:00How completely horrifying!! It sounds definately ...How completely horrifying!! It sounds definately abuse related to me - and probably more like a flashback. Obviously it isn't a direct flashback, but elements of it probably are. And, it's very likely the subconscious seeking some healing. When stuff like this happens with my son, I often GENTLY ask him if anything like that ever happened to him in real life. Most of the time the answer is a horrified no...at first. If it is, I just leave it alone and move on with life. But, there have been times when he's actually told me about similar real events. He doesn't usually tell me about them at the time I ask, but he'll come to me later on and tell me about them. And when he does, the nightmares greatly diminish.<BR/><BR/>I can always tell when my son is cooking up a new "trauma bomb" to share with us because he, too, gets really disregulated for several days before. The nightmares also increase as well. This is actually typical PTSD behavior.Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08444891084585965661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29308661.post-8097591831388555922009-01-17T20:53:00.000-05:002009-01-17T20:53:00.000-05:00Like you, my first thought was abuse. Bless your p...Like you, my first thought was abuse. Bless your poor daughter. It's very common for abuse survivors to totally blank their abuse from their conscious minds but it can, and often does, come through in the form of dreams, night terrors and other subconscious behaviours. as you've also guessed sometimes it does rear its ugly head around the tie of year it took place. As i've said before, thank the Gods that she has you to help her through this nightmare. Your behaviour and responses to her words can make all the difference to the start of her recovery. As she see's that you aren't horrified or repulsed by her admissions (she probably blames herself for at least part of what happened, however wrong that is)that in itself will be such a help to your girl. I know that if anyone can help that precious girl then you are the lady to do that. Good luck, to both of you xXxhippymummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06232856105139634921noreply@blogger.com